Gina: My mom is marrying, shudder, Charles's dad, toilet emoji.

Captain Holt: I remarked afterwards that I wished the officiant had been more efficient. It was very funny. Kevin still talks about it. Maybe I should open with that zinger?

Gina: Give me the ring.
Jake: You sound like Gollum.
Gina: That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.

Minister: So, do you Kevin-
Kevin:Yes.
Minister: And do you-
Captain Holt: Yes. Yes. We do. We're married.

Rosa: I've only said I love you to three people. My mom, my dad and my dying grandpa. And one of those I regret.
Charles: Which one?
Rosa: Grandpa. He beat cancer so now I look like an idiot.

Amy: That stuff with us is in the past. We talked about that.
Jake: I know, but that was before you saw me in this dope ass tux. I mean you must be freaking out.
Amy: Oh, I really am. I'm really into rented clothes. I love how many butts have been in them.

Captain Holt: Marriage is a con-tract
Between two adults of- -different families.
It's a Haiku. And a fact. It works on two levels.

Sergeant Jeffords: What did the official say when you got married?
Captain Holt: Not much. When gay marriage was legalized, we're not sure if or when it was going to be struck down, so speed was of the essence.

Captain Holt: Maybe I should wing it. Love, it sustains you. It's like oatmeal.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. Okay. Not bad for winging it.
Captain Holt: I lied. Took me two hours to write that.

Sergeant Jeffords: I mean working out is not the only thing I feel comfortable talking about.
What would you say is your mom's favorite move at the gym?

Gina: Captain, the speech is yours. It needs to be emotional and poetic. Can you do it?
Captain Holt: Well, my first captain used to call me Emily Dickinson.
Gina: Great.
Captain Holt: Of course he meant it as an insult about my sexuality, but don't worry. I am good at emotion.

Gina: My mom likes champagne, baked ziti, the Bahamas. Charles's dad probably lives under a bridge and uses a puddle as a mirror. I don't know.

Gina: My mom's priest dropped out so I need one of you two to step up. Urgh, who would be better equipped to deliver a heart-felt, emotional speech about love?
Captain Holt: I have to imagine it's not me.

Jake: Guys, guess who I'm about to see.
Charles: The Boobs? Michael Buble?
Jake: You're the only one who calls him that.

Charles: We are going to be brother and sister. And to think this started with us just going to town on each other's sexy parts.
Gina: Ew. Charles, promise me that is not in your toast.
Charles: It's not?

Jake: Right, you hate him because he has a typo on his counterfeit bills.
Amy: No, because he passed 4 million dollars in fraudulent bills, Jake.
But also, two Rs in pluribus. I mean did none of those cashiers take Latin?

Charles: Actually, my dad can really rock a turtleneck. It gives him a sexy Elliot Gould vibe.

Jake: I know you're making fun of me, but that sexy voice is really getting me going.