Quote from Jake in the episode NutriBoom
Jake: Look, we have evidence that could tie David to his wife's death, but we need your help to get to him.
Jay Chandrasekhar: Yeah, I'll do whatever you want. You have no idea how terrible they are.
Jake: Trust me, I do. They took ten grand from me.
Jay Chandrasekhar: Boo-hoo, they kidnapped my dog.
Jake: Okay, well, no need to compare stakes. Although I doubt your dog cost $10,000.
Jay Chandrasekhar: You can't put a price on life.
Jake: You're absolutely right. Thank you so much for your help, sir.
Quote from the episode The Vulture
Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
Quote from the episode Halloween
Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!
Quote from Scully
Jake: Pigeon's still here?
Scully: Yeah. No matter what we do, he just won't leave.
Jake: The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
Scully: No, I'm definitely not.
Quote from Charles
Charles: Jake, piece of advice: just give up. It's the Boyle way. It's why our family crest is a white flag.
Quote from Sergeant Jeffords
Captain Holt: Are you ready for your first briefing?
Amy: Yes, I am fully prepared. I just wanna establish myself as a leader right away.
Sergeant Jeffords: Just be confident, deliberate and firm. You'll know you have their respect when you can take a moment [pours a cup of coffee] and still keep their attention.
Amy: Amazing.
Rosa: That was captivating as hell.