Jake: Hey, Charles! Charles, get in here. Come on. What is Holt up to? Does he have the plaque? Does he know who does?
Charles: I'm not telling you that, Jake. I'm Team Holt, and there's nothing you could say that will change that.
Jake: Okay, fine, then I guess I have a new best friend, and his name is Bill.
Charles: [scoffs] You're not serious. He's just a prop for the heist.
Jake: Sure, it started out that way, but you know how these things go, spending time together, sharing intimate secrets, laughing about nothing in particular. [laughs]
Bill: Cabbage.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Charles: This is so frustrating. There's no way of knowing who has the plaque.
Captain Holt: Amy and Rosa have it.
Charles: What? How do you know?
Captain Holt: Diaz usually favors her left leg, but after "zero dark pizza," she was suddenly favoring her right.
Charles: Yes, yes, which means that she was...
Captain Holt: You trailed off and didn't finish speaking. Continue.
Charles: I don't want to.

Amy: Attention, squad.
Gina: Mm, pretty dainty way to make an announcement.
Amy: It's a workplace. I wanted to be respectful.
Scully: Well, as someone at a high risk for a spook-related death, thank you.

Hitchcock: Attention, everyone.
Rosa: Enough. We know. The heist is happening.
Hitchcock: No, my ex-wife just died. No more alimony, baby!