Charles: Howard Booth... As in, Officer Booth.
Jake: Oh, yes. Officer Howard.
Charles: He's Greene's brother-in-law. He didn't just put the evidence on Jake's desk. He put the glitter bomb there.
Jake: Oh, my God. We have to find Booth.
Charles: Already did it. And I booked him.
Jake: [elevator dings] Oh, classic elevator reveal. This feels like it calls for an audible gasp.
Charles: [gasps loudly]
Jake: Not from you, Charles. From me. [gasps loudly]
Charles: [gasps loudly]
Jake: Wait, did you just gasp at my gasp?
Charles: Sorry. Your gasp was so good.
Jake: Oh, thank you for gasping at my gasp.
Charles: My pleasure.

Jake: So hey, listen. I wanted to say great job today and also I'm sorry.
Charles: Sorry for what?
Jake: Well, when I heard you got the task force, my first reaction was just to feel sad for myself instead of happy for you.
Charles: Well, you sure hid it well.
Jake: I really didn't. I stormed into the other room and moped by myself.
Charles: Eh, but you had style.

Jake: I'm getting a text. Ooh. "I will see you soon, sir." Guess who that was.
Charles: Elton John.
Jake: What?
Charles: You said "sir," and that's on you.

Jake: The cake was blue.
Roger Peralta: You're having a boy. It's the curse.
Jake: No. No, no, no, there's no curse. Look, we can still fix this. All we have to do is clean every inch of this room, and then bake a gourmet cake.
Roger Peralta: No one can do all that in two hours.
Jake: Wrong, Dad. There is one who can.
[later, Boyle arrives at the apartment wearing sunglasses and holding two whisks]
Charles: Hello, fellas. Let's get to work.

Charles: Okay, I know you need help and time is tight, but I see there is blue cake on the floor, and I know what that means, vis-à-vis the sex of the baby. So before we do anything, I'm going to need a minute.
[1 minute later:]
Charles: Sorry for all the weeping and the weird snort noise I made at the end. It's genetic. Now, Jake, grab the mop, you're on cleanup. Admiral, you're making the batter. Captain, you're on frosting duty.

Jake: Oh, my God, I can't believe we pulled it off. Charles, we owe it all to you.
Charles: Stop, it was an honor to cook and clean with all of you.
Walter Peralta: Boy, Jake is so lucky to have you as his butler.
Jake: Oh, he's not...
Charles: Thank you.
Jake: Oh.

Charles: Look at them laughing. Jake must have said something really funny. Should we forfeit and go hear what it was?

Amy: And the infighting continues.
Charles: I guess Jake and I still have the only unbreakable bond in the whole precinct.
Amy: I mean, he is my husband.
Charles: Uh-huh. No one ever gets divorced?
Amy: Charles.
Charles: I'm sorry. I'm just all worked up because of the heist. There's heist in the geist.

Sergeant Jeffords: Anyway, I know just who to pitch this to. My buddy who invented Muscle Malt.
Charles: [gasps] This is great! We're the perfect partners. When it comes to cooking, you got me. When it comes to being ripped, you also have me. And you have a little connection. We're gonna be rich.

Sergeant Jeffords: All right, Muscle Malt Kenneth is on his way up. Hey, I just wanna say, no matter how this turns out, it was really fun working on this with you.
Charles: Aw, Terry, it's gotta turn out well. I invested $11,000 in it.
Sergeant Jeffords: $11,000?! It only costs 30 bucks to make the broth!
Charles: Yeah, but it cost $11,000 to buy the domain name "workplacebonebuds.com." I am all in.

Charles: This is it. My purpose is clear. I was put on this Earth to get you back in time to see your baby's birth.
Jake: I mean, you're a grown man with your own hopes and dreams.
Charles: My purpose is clear.
Jake: Okay.

Jake: Wait, wait, wait, stop! The power's back.
Kayla: Oh, yuck, none of you are cute with the lights fully on.
Charles: You wanna play mean girl, Kayla? Two can play at that game. Let's talk about your bangs.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, Charles. I just got a random Venmo payment from you. Was this an accident?
Charles: No, it was the only way I could express how sorry I am for what you've had to go through. Consider it a mini reparation.
Sergeant Jeffords: Mini? I wouldn't say $10,000 is mini.
Charles: $10,000!
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, when I saw that you sent it, I was like, this must have been an accident, like you meant to send $100 and then thought you needed to add the cents too and then accidentally added two zeros.
Charles: That's a pretty good guess as to what could have happened... but didn't. Because I meant every last zero.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sure you did. Thanks, Charles.
Charles: You got it.
Scully: Wow, Charles, that was so nice of you.
Charles: It was obviously a mistake, Scully!

Charles: Hey, Terry. I have to come clean, and please don't say anything until I'm done, not that I'm trying to silence you. I am listening.
Sergeant Jeffords: Just say it!
Charles: The $10,000 was supposed to be $100. And I was too embarrassed to ask for it back.
Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle, I need to come clean too. I knew you made a mistake. [Charles sighs] I was just messing with you.
Charles: You were?
Sergeant Jeffords: Obviously! [laughs]
Charles: Okay.
Sergeant Jeffords: Look, Boyle, it's great that you're trying to do better, but the way you're doing it is kind of messed up. If you want to do something about these issues, you have to do it because you think it's the right thing, not because you want me to know about it. That just makes stuff weird between us.
Charles: You're right. You're right. I won't be as performative. [phone whooshes] I just donated to a great charity, but I won't tell you which one or how much.
Sergeant Jeffords: Good for you.
Charles: For Black trans women. It was $1,000.

Amy: Let's see, Pack 'n Play, baby monitor, white noise machine, sleep sack...
Charles: Whoa, that's a lot of gear.
Amy: Yeah, it's our first time away from home with him, and he's such a terrible sleeper.
Charles: Well, at least you're doing the smart thing and asking for my help.
Amy: That is not what's happening.
Charles: Oh, I'm an expert, Amy. I basically raised ten nieces and nephews. I've done it all: bottled, swaddled, and coddled. Let's just say you're definitely gonna want my nip tips. [off Amy's look] Tips that nip a problem in the bud.
Amy: Why don't you just say tips?
Charles: Just the tips. Interesting.
Amy: Oh, come on, man.