Rosa: All right, I'll compete for her.
Amy: What? You will? But I know you think these strollers are dumb.
Rosa: They are, but I can't let that boring bastard win.
Teddy: So we decided to paint the baby room white.
Rosa: I mean, you used to have sex with him.
Amy: I know.

Rosa: What's the contest?
Amy: It's an endurance competition. Everyone has to stand with one hand on the stroller, and if you let go, you're out. Last person holding on wins.
Rosa: Sounds painful. Can I come?
Amy: Aww. For moral support?
Rosa: Sure. That.

Sergeant Jeffords: Guys, stop it. We're supposed to be celebrating Rosa here, not fighting.
Rosa: No, no, keep fighting. It's why I did this. You know, technically, we all shared in Jake's first win, so this might be my fourth.
Jake: What? No.
Captain Holt: Yeah, that's a good point.
Amy: Oh, we also helped Holt win too.
Captain Holt: Oh, shut up, Santiago. Just shut up.
Jake: Excuse me?
Amy: Wow, shut up?
Jake: How dare you, sir.
Captain Holt: I won two times.
Jake: That is my wife.
[Rosa smiles]

Rosa: Hey. You solved the puzzle before me. Nerds!
Jake: [scoffs] They solved it first. They're the nerds. I'm cool like you.

Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry that wasn't Scar-Joe.
Rosa: I don't want to talk about it. Talking about your feelings is for losers.
Sergeant Jeffords: I guess Adele's a loser in your world.

Bob Annderson: Well, what happened in here? It looks like there was a fight.
Rosa: Oh, it was me. I was done with this place the minute you all stepped foot in it.

Amy: Can I buy a free man a drink?
Jake: I'd rather have a drink of that mouth.
Amy: Ugh.
Jake: I'm sorry, I just, I love you.
Amy: I love you too.
Rosa: Hello, I'm also back.

Jake: Anyhow, quick heist update. There's less than an hour left, and only two teams remain.
Rosa: Two?
Scully: My doctor said I'm at a grave risk for a shenanigan-related death, so I have to drop out.
Rosa: That's not fair. I should get a new partner. Terry, you want back in?
Sergeant Jeffords: Nope. I want my mango tango. Slurp, slurp.
Jake: Sorry, Rosa, if you wanna switch partners this late in the game, they have to have the same skill set as Scully.
Hitchcock: I'm available.
Rosa: Right, or... That filing cabinet kind of looks like Scully.
Jake: I see it. Same flat top. But if we really wanna make this a fair switch, it seems like you need to... start in the men's room.
Rosa: Come on.
Jake: Let the heist re-re-begin!

Rosa: Teddy and I are the only ones left. I'm gonna win this no matter how much he talks about light rail systems.
Teddy: Ooh, you should ride the one in Akron, by the way. Very little noise.
Rosa: Oh, my God.
Teddy: Enough about light rails. Let's talk trams. Amusement parks get it.
Rosa: I can't, I can't, I can't...
Kevin: If more cities adopted amusement park...
Rosa: I can't, I can't. [gasps]. Oh, put your hands over your ears.
Amy: Oh no, wait, Rosa!
Gloria: Hands are off. We have a winner!

Rosa: I'd love to see you date someone from work. Your head would explode.
Amy: Your head would explode! Because of how well I would handle it.
Rosa: Huh, sick burn.

Amy: Oh, my God. He didn't even wipe it off.
Gina: He's totally given up on life.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's loneliness. Ever since Kevin left for his sabbatical in Paris, he hasn't been the same.
Amy: I tried to get him out of the house. I invited him to bar trivia, but he turned me down, not that Trivia Newton John needed the help. We're nationally ranked. It's no big deal.
Rosa: You're right, it's not.

Rosa: it's really cool that you guys opened it up to anyone.
Jake: Thanks. Yeah, we talked about it, and we just felt like it was only fair.
Rosa: I was being sarcastic. You all suck, and I hope Jake goes back to jail.
Jake: Oh, cool, I'm glad everyone feels comfortable joking about that.
Rosa: Not joking.

Rosa: So, Boyle, let's go look at those surveillance tapes, shall we?

Amy: It was crazy assertive and I feel like maybe I don't need power pose training.
Rosa: You don't. Mostly because no one needs power pose training.

Gina: Okay, well, listen, you're in luck. Because I have the perfect girl for you, and I'm actually texting with her right now.
Rosa: No. You are terrible at setting me up. Remember that dork, Justin?
Gina: He was a tattoo artist and he rode a motorcycle.
Rosa: A Yamaha. He might as well have picked me up in a station wagon.