Rosa: It's my birthday. I hate birthdays. If you wish me a Happy Birthday, I will punch you.
Scully: You're a funny little bird, Diaz. Happy Birthday.
[Rosa punches Scully]

Gina: And I'm not the only one who thinks that.
Charles: You melted my fringe.
Rosa: You think I have an anger problem? I don't. You are both dead to me.

Rosa: I love getting to know people. It's my jam.

Jake: I don't look like a cop now.
Rosa: No, you look like a Boyz II Men Easter album.

Jake: Doug Judy and I know this guy. You have to trust us!
Rosa: Do I? One of you is a criminal, and the other one is dressed like Steve Harvey.

Jake: What do you do to these perps?
Rosa: Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Captain Holt: I'm on the fence here. Diaz caught him. It's your call.
Jake: Look, this guy is for real. 1,000 push-ups.
Rosa: 1,000 push-ups?
Jake: Yes.
Rosa: Okay. I'm in.
Captain Holt: What's 1,000 push-ups?
Jake: Oh, we were in the academy together, and we hated all the drills, so now when we're on a case and one of us says 1,000 push-ups, it means I'm so sure I'm right that if I'm wrong, I'll do 1,000 push-ups.
Rosa: It's a pact we made. It really just means "trust me." And I do.

Jake: Come on, Rosa. We can play-act with his mom for two minutes to get a lead.
Rosa: Fine. One false move, and I tase you in front of your mom.

Amy: Now, the Captain won't allow us to give him all the presents we bought him.
Rosa: You are the only one that did that.

Rosa: Shut up, Jake. Boyle's a hero and so is his butt.

Amy: Rosa is even wearing her formal leather jacket.
Rosa: It's the one without any blood on it.

Rosa: Looks like you live on the set of Murder, She Wrote.

Captain Holt: Hey. What are you all doing here?
Rosa: Amy broke everything and got us kicked out of the bar. Then, we got attacked by rats. It's the best Thanksgiving ever.

Rosa: It's whack, and you know it! Their number one crime is tricycle theft. There's a bakery attached to the precinct.

Rosa: We work in a police force full of dudes. We got to have each other's backs, okay?
Amy: You're saying you have my back?
Rosa: Yeah, I got your back. Don't smile. I'm still mad at you.
Amy: I thought we were having a moment.
Rosa: Moment's over. Shut up.