Rosa: And when this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Sergeant Jeffords: We need to soften up your look. My wife and Charles's mom both donated some clothes.
Rosa: Your wife and Boyle's mom are both blind?

Sergeant Jeffords: So, I called your school, and I managed to get a hold of one Sister Bernadette.
Rosa: I remember that old bag. She was my favorite.

Rosa: Can't tell you how many nuns I wanted to beat up in Catholic school. Ten.
Sergeant Jeffords: I didn't know you went to Catholic school.
Rosa: Good. You shouldn't know it.

Jake: I hate The Vulture so much!
Rosa: Me too. But he's kind of hot. What? You can hate people and still think they're hot. Case in point, Manuel Noriega.
Jake: You know what? I'm with you on this. Tonya Harding.
Rosa: Yeah, she's thick.

Rosa: What do you need Quasimodo? I've got to go meet Boyle and Peralta.

Jake: Hey guys, can I tell you a secret?
Rosa: Do you know anything about my life?
Jake: No, I do not. Good point.

Rosa: No, Robo-Cop. It's got everything I like. Gratuitous violence.
Jake: Oh, I thought you were listing things.
Rosa: I was. I'm done.

Amy: You know how every year the precinct does that Junior Police Program seminar?
Rosa: That thing where we try to get a bunch of loser kids to become student snitches?
Amy: Mmm, no. The thing where we try to get at-risk kids-
Rosa: Losers.
Amy: To sign up to become Junior Police Officers-
Rosa: Snitches. What about it?

Jake: Rosa?
Rosa: Fly to Montreal, hit a classy hotel bar, bone a stranger. Slump over.

Rosa: Thank you, Carlene. Your entire life is garbage.

Rosa: Don't arrest him. Just smack him. Hard. With a phone book on a body part no one can see. Know what I'm saying?
Jake: So you're suggesting police brutality?
Rosa: *laughing* I guess so, why?

Rosa: Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.
Hitchcock: No, that takes all the fun out of it.
*Rosa stares*
It's Scully. He got you a scarf. I'll make him return it.
Rosa: Yes, you will.

Rosa: Maybe it's just old person gunk. You know how old people always have that gunk on them.