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Quotes from ‘Ransom’

Ransom

Ransom
Season 7, Episode 12 - Aired April 16, 2020

Captain Holt puts Jake on the case when Cheddar is kidnapped. Meanwhile, Amy and Rosa attempt to win a fancy baby stroller, and Charles and Terry team up on a nutritional side hustle.

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: Can you believe this, Scully? Looks like we're the only responsible people who show up on time anymore.
Scully: And they're always calling us lazy, but where are they now? I don't see them.
Hitchcock: [clapping] They're not here.
Scully: But you know who is? Hitchcock and Scully.
Hitchcock: The oafs.
Scully: The bozos.
Hitchcock: The...
Jake: Idiots! What are you doing here? The building's being fumigated. There were so many emails.
Scully: There were? We didn't... [passes out]
Hitchcock: Lightweight.
Jake: That's your takeaway?

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Someone took our fluffy boy.
Jake: Oh, my God. What happened?
Kevin: Well, Cheddar and I walked to the bakery together, we shared a plain scone. Then we went to the park, and I let him off leash. He... never came back.
Captain Holt: Someone took our fluffy boy.
Jake: Right, you mentioned that. Now, just to be clear, you didn't actually see someone take him, right? So there's a chance Cheddar just ran away. You know like some dogs do.
Captain Holt: Cheddar isn't some dog. He would never do that. Someone took our...
Jake: Fluffy boy, yes, I understand.

Quote from Kevin

Jake: Okay, sir, the kidnapper should be calling with his demands any minute. If we trace his location, we can find your fuzzy boy.
Captain Holt: Not fuzzy. He's fluffy.
Kevin: We don't know what he is anymore. He could be fuzzy, he could be anything. Raymond, he could be scruffy.
Captain Holt: Now you've upset Kevin. I hope you're happy.
Jake: Why would I be happy? I clearly just mixed up fuzzy and fluffy.
Captain Holt: "Just?" You're fired. I want your shield and your piece.
Jake: That seems a little extreme.
Kevin: Jake is right.
Jake: Thank you, Kevin.
Kevin: Just suspend him without pay.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: He's calling.
Jake: Sir, remember, we need two minutes for the trace.
Captain Holt: Two minutes, understood.
Jake: So just keep him talking and stay calm.
Captain Holt: Peralta, I'm in complete control.
Man: [disguised voice on the phone] Hello?
Captain Holt: Shut your damn mouth. I'm the one talking here.
Man: Then this is over. [beep]
Jake: And he hung up. Well, that could've gone better.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Bone broth! It's an old Boyle family recipe. I drink it after every workout, and I'm never sore.
Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle, I don't think we're maxing out at the same weight at the gym.
Charles: Oh, Terry, they're just numbers. You'll get there.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: Charles, this Boyle bone broth is incredible. I'm not sore at all anymore.
Charles: I told you it works. The Boyles used to drink it during potato digging season to keep everyone healthy in the furrows.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: You know, I bet we could sell this stuff.
Charles: You really think so? [gasps] We can call our company "The Bone Boys." No! "More Bone, Less Moan." No! "Workplace Bone Buds." That's the one. I'm registering it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Ewh, we can name the company later.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: So now I know who the sumbitch is who took my dog. The only problem is, I have no idea where to find that sumbitch.
Kevin: Well, Raymond, I think we can help you find that sumbitch. Jake?
Jake: Sumbitch. We all got to say it.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Let me show you what we found: A security camera grabbed some footage of Cheddar being picked up and put into a car which was registered to an anonymous shell company on Dean Street. We can be there in 15 minutes.
Captain Holt: That's weird. It's sunny outside.
Jake: Why's that weird?
Captain Holt: Because a [bleep]storm is about to rain down on that punk.
Jake: Oh, my God, I fell for it, and I loved it.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Okay, if we're gonna pull this off, we need to teach you how to move, talk, and act exactly like Kevin.
Kevin: In other words we have a "Pygmalion" situation.
Jake: Exactly, a "pig mailman" situation.

Quote from Jake

Jake: The 92nd Street Y, I had a wonderful symposium on just that topic.
Kevin: That's it. You're getting it.
Jake: Ah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Captain Holt: Don't say "cool," instead say "indeed."
Jake: Oh, indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed. [laughs] It's weird.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay, I'm approaching the drop site. I don't see anything unusual.
Captain Holt: We have eyes on you. Just be natural.
Jake: Indeed, I will. Oh, look, a yellow crested warbler.
Kevin: Very good.
Jake: [phone ringing] He's calling. Wait, Kevin, we didn't go over how you answer the phone.
Captain Holt: There isn't time. Just answer.
Jake: Okay. [answers phone] You've reached Professor Kevin Cozner. Please start speaking when I finish this sentence.

Quote from Charles

Charles: I guess that's it. I'm never gonna make my $11,000 back.
Sergeant Jeffords: Actually, I called another guy from my gym. He wants to buy the domain workplacebonebuds.com off of you.
Charles: That's amazing! I can't believe you found someone else who runs a bone broth company with a coworker. What are the odds?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, obviously he wants to make a website that helps people hook up with their coworkers.
Charles: I don't see it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Charles. It's called workplacebonebuds.com.
Charles: All I hear is friendship and broth. But yeah, I mean he wants to burn his money, I'll light the match. Yeah, tell him to call me. His loss.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Freeze!
Jake: Captain! Captain!
Captain Holt: He's not getting away! He took my dog!
[Captain Holt jumps on top of Kingston's car]
Jake: Oh, my God. It's happening!
[While clinging onto the roof of Kingston's car, Holt disarms him of his pistol. Kingston breaks hard, hurling Holt of the roof. Kingston gets out, kicks Holt's gun away and flicks out a switchblade]
Captain Holt: Aah! Oh, I see you have a knife. But what you need is an umbrella.
Jake: Tell him why. Tell him why!
Captain Holt: 'Cause there's a [bleep]storm gonna rain down on you, punk!
[Holt and Kingston fight]
Jake: My goodness.
[The fight continues]
Captain Holt: You took the wrong fluffy boy! [knockout blow] He's done, cuff him.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: That was the single coolest thing that has ever happened.
Captain Holt: Relax, Peralta. That wasn't even the coolest thing I've ever done.
Jake: What have you done that's cooler?
Captain Holt: It was the '80s. It was nothing, I mean, they made a movie out of it, but whatever.
Jake: What? What movie?
Captain Holt: I don't remember the title. Uh, there was a crime on a plane, I was a passenger.
Jake: Was it "Passenger 57?"
Captain Holt: I honestly don't know.
Jake: It had to have been. Just say it was that.
Captain Holt: You know, Peralta, sometimes I don't understand the words coming out of your mouth.
Jake: Oh, my God, was it "Rush Hour?"
Captain Holt: What? No. You know what? I'm too old for this crap.
Jake: It was "Lethal Weapon?!" Sir, are you Murtaugh?! Does that make me Riggs? I'm Riggs!

Quote from Jake

Jake: It just doesn't seem like he should be that fast for how big he is. Gah, I hate Wario.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Oh, Kevin's here. And you both look so upset. Oh, no, did they stop funding the arts?
Kevin: They did, but that doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. Cheddar has been kidnapped.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: I need you to drop everything. Nothing in the world is important to me as this dog.
Jake: I wouldn't say nothing. For example, you and I are very close.
Captain Holt: We don't have time for this.
Jake: Okay.
Captain Holt: In kidnappings, the first 48 hours are the most crucial.
Jake: Right, and in dog years, that's only seven hours.
Kevin: Why would you say that? This is why everyone prefers that dog to you.
Jake: Everyone?

Quote from Jake

Jake: Okay, look, I'm just saying that before we jump to any conclusions... [text dings] We should consider the fact that there's no actual proof that someone kidnapped Cheddar.
Captain Holt: It's a text. It reads, "I have kidnapped your dog."
Jake: I see. Well, that seems like pretty hard proof. That's good. Good proof.

Quote from Amy

Amy: A baby store in Dumbo is having a contest to win a Snoog.
Rosa: Who or what is a Snoog?
Amy: Are you kidding me? It's only the best roller. It has the versatility of Sporjule, the safety rating of a Fajerb, and an even smoother ride than the Kinderbuscht.
Rosa: Are you having a stroke?
Amy: All the best strollers are from Scandinavia, where they don't hate people for having children.
Rosa: I saw "Midsommar." Those people have their own problems.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey, there you are, and oh, my God what is happening?
Captain Holt: I've gotten mad, and now I'm getting even.
Jake: Okay, look, Sir, I know you're upset, but you need to stay calm and treat this like any other case. I mean, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but now is not the time to go all John Wick.
Captain Holt: Who's that? A friend of yours?
Jake: [sighs] I wish, but he's not a real person. He's a movie assassin that goes nuts when someone messes with his dog.
Captain Holt: Then call me "John Wicks," 'cause I'm about to go nuts.
Jake: It's "Wick," singular, and you already did go nuts.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Just please, stop it. I'm gonna take Kevin to the park where Cheddar was kidnapped and look for clues. I need you to stay here, go through those files, and put together a list of potential suspects. Can you do that?
Captain Holt: Okay, fine. I'll go through the files.
Jake: Great. You realize I can't leave until you put the grenades back, right?
Captain Holt: Oh, but you let John Wicks have grenades?
Jake: It's "Wick." Singular. Just put 'em back.

Quote from Kevin

Jake: Okay, Kevin, we need to recreate your morning and see if we can find some clues.
Kevin: All right, Cheddar and I entered on the east side of the park over past those trees... Oh, how he loved those trees. Jake, I don't know if I can do this.
Jake: Yeah, you can do this, I'm right here with you. We're gonna get through it together. Now let's go. [Kevin coughs] Oh, hey, Kev, bud, couldn't help but notice that when I said, "let's go," you didn't go. You stayed here and stared at that bench.
Kevin: Cheddar loved benches. He'd run up to them. Sniff their legs. Paw at them with his...
Jake: Paws, sure, that's what you paw with.
Kevin: [clears throat] I'm sorry. This is impossible. Everything I see reminds me of Cheddar. The grass, the asphalt, squirrels... Cheddar loved squirrels.
Jake: Oh, stop.
Kevin: He loves to chase them. I suppose I should say loved. He'd never get there. He's like...

Quote from Kevin

Jake: We need to get over to that gate and recreate your morning, and if seeing all these things is too much, then just focus only on me. Okay. All right, stare straight into my eyes.
Kevin: Very good, I will stare straight into your eyes.
Jake: Okay. Oh, wow. Piercing. Huh, okay, so let's do this. And we are heading to the east gate, we're doing great.
Kevin: This is working. I can do this.
Jake: Here we go.
Kevin: I'm doing it.
Jake: You're looking away.
Kevin: No, I'm not.
Jake: Stop looking away.
Kevin: I'm not.
Jake: Don't look away.
Kevin: But I see leaves.
Jake: No!
Kevin: Cheddar loved playing in leaves. Didn't matter what kind. Oak, maple, elm.
Jake: Wait, I hate to cut you off, but look what I found. Security camera.
Kevin: Cheddar loved security cameras.
Jake: How is that possible?

Quote from Teddy

Amy: What are you doing here? You promised you would stop showing up places to propose to me.
Teddy: Quit flattering yourself. I only did that four times. [laughs] Also, I'm taken now. I got married, last year, in the spiciest little city. Phoenix. It was very posh. We served a flight of large batch Pilsners. I don't know if you remember, but I love...
Both: Pilsners.
Amy: Yeah, we remember.
Teddy: Yeah, long story short, we're pregnant now, and I'ma... I'ma try and win this sexy little number.
Amy: Oh, God, is that what I sound like?
Rosa: Yep.
Gloria: Excuse me. Are you here for the competition?
Teddy: Uh, yes, hi. I'm Teddy Ramos. Took my wife's last name. Very brave.
Rosa: He's the worst.

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: Anyway, I know just who to pitch this to. My buddy who invented Muscle Malt.
Charles: [gasps] This is great! We're the perfect partners. When it comes to cooking, you got me. When it comes to being ripped, you also have me. And you have a little connection. We're gonna be rich.

Quote from Kevin

Jake: Sir, we're back. Find anything in the case files?
Captain Holt: Yes, most of them were useless, but one caught my eye. On May 15th, 2004 detectives arrested Frank Kingston, leader of the 16th Street Gang. Thanks to the testimony of confidential informant, Kingston served 16 years. He just got out last month. And you think he wants the file to figure out which one of his guys turned on him to get revenge.
Jake: It's a Vendetta.
Kevin: [Italian accent] Vendetta.
Jake: Sure.

Quote from Teddy

Amy: Are you sure you wanna keep doing this, Rosa? You really don't have to.
Rosa: My feet hurt a little, but I can go as long as it takes.
Teddy: We're having a great time back here. I was just telling my buddy Reggie here about this great salsa that I make. It's so mild you barely taste it.
Reggie: That's it. I can't take any more. I'm out.
Teddy: Bye, Reggie. I'll send you that article about mailboxes.
Reggie: Please don't!

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Oh, my God, Teddy is boring people out of the competition, and he doesn't even realize it. Can't let him get to you, Rosa.
Rosa: It's fine, I can handle boring. We're friends.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: The kidnapper said he would call with drop instructions at 8:00 a.m. It is now... [sighs] ... 8:01. Cheddar's dead.
Jake: Cheddar is not dead. It's just one minute. Perhaps the kidnapper's watch is slow.
Captain Holt: Oh, dear God, if his watch is slow, there's no telling what else this psychopath is capable of.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: Raymond, Cheddar is fine. He's coming back to us, and that is why I bought a new GPS tag to put on his collar.
Jake: Thank you, Kevin. At least some of us are thinking clearly.
Kevin: Yes, crystal clear. In fact I bought 5 GPS tags. One for his collar and one for each arm and leg. I'm going to make bracelets to put them on, and I'll never lose my Cheddar again.
Jake: Okay, a little unsettling, but I like your positivity.

Quote from Captain Holt

Kevin: Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
Jake: Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
Captain Holt: No, you're too excited. The warbler's a common bird.
Jake: Ah.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: And then I said, "Which 'Metamorphosis'? Kafka or Ovid?"
Captain Holt: [laughs]
Kevin: He loves it. He loves it.
Captain Holt: [sighs]
Kevin: So that's the joke. Now, you tell it.
Jake: Oh, okay, [clears throat] So a professor walks in to a rare books collection...
Kevin: No, you've ruined it. Now it's not funny.

Quote from Captain Holt

Kevin: Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
Jake: Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
Captain Holt: Ugh, not excited enough. They may be common, but they're still birds.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
Captain Holt: Yes! That's the right level of excitement for such a bird. You captured the essence of Kevin. You've done it.
Jake: Correction, I've accomplished it.
Captain Holt: Indeed.
Kevin: Indeed.
Jake: Indeed, indeed, indeed...
All: Indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed.
Jake: It's growing on me.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Oh, my God, Rosa. I can't believe you're still here. And I can't believe Teddy looks so normal.
Rosa: I'm 'onna win you that Snoo. Slog. Snat... whatever, my brain is broken, I haven't slept in 72 hours.
Amy: You've only been doing the competition for one night.
Rosa: I mean, you're allowed to not sleep for other reasons.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Okay, I got you a coffee.
Rosa: Oh, thank you. Just need to put my left hand on the stroller. My right hand grabs the cup. My mouth do the sippin'.
Amy: What's happening?
Rosa: My broken brain won't talk to my body, so I'm doing it. Blink.
Amy: Rosa, you don't have to do this. You can stop.
Rosa: Snarl at Amy. [snarls]

Quote from Charles

Sergeant Jeffords: All right, Muscle Malt Kenneth is on his way up. Hey, I just wanna say, no matter how this turns out, it was really fun working on this with you.
Charles: Aw, Terry, it's gotta turn out well. I invested $11,000 in it.
Sergeant Jeffords: $11,000?! It only costs 30 bucks to make the broth!
Charles: Yeah, but it cost $11,000 to buy the domain name "workplacebonebuds.com." I am all in.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: There's no sign of Peralta out here. Did you hear anything on the wire?
Kevin: No, it never came back on. Do you think he's okay?
Captain Holt: Shh!
Kevin: What?
Captain Holt: Do you hear?
Kevin: Yes, I do. That's the jingle of Cheddar's collar. [Cheddar barks]
Captain Holt: And that's his bark! Oh, it's our fluffy boy!

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Charles: I cleaned up as much as I could, but I think that couch is gonna smell like bone broth for a while. So did you talk to your friend? Any chance he'll reconsider investing?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, that's not happening. He said that was the most scared he's ever been, and he was on that plane that landed on the Hudson.

Quote from Amy

Amy: ♪ I said who's that mama looking so cool ♪ ♪ I'm that mama looking so cool ♪
Rosa: Whoa?
Amy: [gasps] What? Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.
Rosa: Yeah, that was clear. What's going on? Why you dork dancing?

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: What's the contest?
Amy: It's an endurance competition. Everyone has to stand with one hand on the stroller, and if you let go, you're out. Last person holding on wins.
Rosa: Sounds painful. Can I come?
Amy: Aww. For moral support?
Rosa: Sure. That.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Come on, Terry. You can pick up that paper. [strained groan] No, forget it. It's only a first offence.
Charles: Is everything okay, Lieutenant? You've been groaning all morning.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm sore from my workout. My muscles hurt so bad. Look. [flexes his pecs] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: Look, I need you to focus. The kidnapper texted his demands.
Captain Holt: How much does the bastard want for my little doggy?
Jake: Oh, that's just it. He doesn't want money. He requested all the files we worked from May 2004. It's a lead. He's gotta be connected to one of those cases somehow.
Captain Holt: Interesting. You know what else is interesting?
Jake: Hmm?
Captain Holt: Grenades.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Oh, Rosa, there she is. The Snoog! Look at those sexy lines. Oh, I just wanna get behind that thing and push.
Rosa: Aw, man, you're grossing me out.

Quote from Rosa

Amy: [gasps] What is Teddy doing here?
Rosa: Teddy?
Teddy: Oh, my gosh, hey Amy.
Rosa: Right, boring ex-boyfriend Teddy. Hey, Teddy.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Hi, I'm Amy Santiago.
Gloria: I am so sorry, but pregnant women aren't allowed to compete. Not after what happened last year. [long silence]
Amy: Are you gonna say what happened?
Gloria: It's part of the settlement. We can't.
Amy: Okay. Well, uh, good news: I'm not pregnant! I just had a huge lunch.
Gloria: I'm so sorry, I just can't.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: All right, I'll compete for her.
Amy: What? You will? But I know you think these strollers are dumb.
Rosa: They are, but I can't let that boring bastard win.
Teddy: So we decided to paint the baby room white.
Rosa: I mean, you used to have sex with him.
Amy: I know.

Quote from Jake

Jake: All right, let's gear up. Kevin, you stay here, and don't worry. We're gonna get your dog back.
[later:]
Jake: [on the phone] So we did not get your dog back. Unfortunately, he wasn't here. No, no, no. I think Captain Holt's taking it really well.
Captain Holt: [screams, punches wall]
Jake: So we'll see you soon.

Quote from Amy

Gloria: Wow, five hours. This is the most exciting contest we've had. Of course, the incident last year was exciting, but we all know how that ended. [inhales]
Amy: No. We don't.
Gloria: Right. Because of the gag order.

Quote from Teddy

Teddy: Ooh, guys, you will never believe who I saw at Bush Gardens last summer: my neighbor. Yeah? Just walking around.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: [phone buzzes] Three minutes after 8:00. This man is unhinged. You said you'd call at 8:00.
Man: [disguised voice] My watch is slow.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: It's not that. It's that I refuse to put Kevin in harm's way.
Jake: Understood, but I think maybe I have a way to put Kevin in danger without putting Kevin in danger.
[later:]
Jake: [impersonating] Well, hello there Raymond. It's me, Kevin!
Kevin: [flatly] And I am Detective Jacob Peralta.
Jake: We didn't have anything else to wear so we just switched.
Kevin: He understands.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Teddy and I are the only ones left. I'm gonna win this no matter how much he talks about light rail systems.
Teddy: Ooh, you should ride the one in Akron, by the way. Very little noise.
Rosa: Oh, my God.
Teddy: Enough about light rails. Let's talk trams. Amusement parks get it.
Rosa: I can't, I can't, I can't...
Kevin: If more cities adopted amusement park...
Rosa: I can't, I can't. [gasps]. Oh, put your hands over your ears.
Amy: Oh no, wait, Rosa!
Gloria: Hands are off. We have a winner!

Quote from Teddy

Teddy: Excuse me. Amy. You can have the stroller for the right price.
Amy: Okay, how much?
Teddy: Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
Amy: No!

Quote from Jake

Man: [disguised voice] Pick up the book on the bench and head south.
Jake: He hung up. And he had me pick up a copy of "The Tempest."
Kevin: "Tempest?" Oh, no, Raymond. Do you know what's happening in the park today?
Captain Holt: The Shakespeare Festival which will be attended by...
Jake: Guys, I'm in a sea of Kevins.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Okay, between us, I think we made enough broth.
Sergeant Jeffords: Did you edit the presentation like I asked?
Charles: You mean did I remove the tasteful photos of me stretching?
Sergeant Jeffords: They weren't tasteful! You were in a thong.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Not only is it delicious, it's high in amino acids, and low in sodium.
Charles: Well, not exactly low in sodium. It definitely has salt in it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not in the batch I made. I left it out. Terry doesn't like to get all bloaty.
Charles: You left out the salt? That stops the fermentation. The salt keeps it stable.
[glass explodes]
Charles: Oh, ah!
Kenneth: God, what is happening?
Charles: They're all gonna blow!
Sergeant Jeffords: Take cover! [glass explodes] So, uh, do we have a deal? [glass explodes, all scream]

Quote from Kevin

Jake: Still waiting for instructions, over.
Captain Holt: Wait, we don't have eyes on you. Kevin, do you see Jake?
Kevin: Yes, he's right there. Oh, no, that's a different gentlemen wearing a handsome jacket. Everyone is so well dressed.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Cheddar! Uh, my fluffy boy! I've missed you so.
Frank: All right, put up your hands. I'm gonna tap you down.
Jake: There's no need for that. I have the drive. Just take it.
Frank: Thanks. I'm still gonna pat you down.
Jake: Be my guest, but you're not gonna find anything.
Frank: Here's a gun.
Jake: Whoops.
Frank: And another gun.
Jake: I forgot about that one too.
Frank: So, the Professor's got two guns on him, and he's wearing a fake beard.
Jake: Oh, please don't rip it off. It hurts so much.

Quote from Jake

Frank: I think the Professor's actually a cop. Something tells me I should check that drive. There's a laptop in the front seat. Get it. If these files aren't the real deal, you and the dog are dead.
Jake: Oh, no need to worry. Because everything is on the level and will be completely fine. [hits Frank with the laptop] Cheddar, go! Go, boy!
Frank: Hey cop.
Jake: Would you like to buy a laptop?

Quote from Kevin

Captain Holt: Oh, Mr. Cheddar, how I've missed you.
Kevin: We both have. I'm putting that GPS tag on your collar immediately. Oh, damn it, it's not here. I'm wearing Peralta's pants. Ugh, and now my hands are sticky.
Captain Holt: Wait, Peralta's wearing your pants which means...
Kevin: He doesn't have sticky hands.
Captain Holt: Yes, but also he has the GPS tracker.
Kevin: [gasps]

Quote from Rosa

Amy: Hey, so, given the fact that you haven't slept in forever, I feel like I should drive you home.
Rosa: I'm not going home. I'm going out.
Amy: What? Really? What is your life?
Rosa: It's pretty good actually.
Amy: Huh.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: By the way, I'm sorry that I didn't win you that stroller.
Amy: No, no, no, you were right. I don't need a Snoog. It's way too fancy. It is stupid.
Rosa: It's not stupid. I said you didn't need it because I already bought you a stroller for your shower this weekend, and it's just... isn't as fancy, and I felt bad.
Amy: Rosa, I would love any stroller you got me because it came from you.
Rosa: It's a Luftroller.
Amy: [pause] Oh, that is... That is a great stroller.
Rosa: I got you a gift receipt.
Amy: Thank you so much.

Quote from Jake

Jake: So what's your plan here, Kingston? You gonna torture me? You gonna put my beard back on and rip it off again?
Frank: No, I'm gonna cut off each one of your fingers until you tell me who the rat is.
Jake: I see. Well that's bad news, because I don't know who the rat is, and I need all my fingers if I'm gonna beat Wario.
Frank: You can't beat Wario?
Jake: You can? How do you do it?
Frank: It's simple. When he's approaching, you just tap the...

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