Captain Holt: So we're in Florida indefinitely. You okay?
Jake: I squirt-anly am. Poor choice of words, but the sentiment remains.

Jake: Now if you'll excuse me, I got to drive this Bee-otch back to work.
Captain Holt: What?
Jake: Oh, sorry. This is the Ikura Bee-otch 5,000. Brand-new model. Just came in. I was gonna go for the 10,000, but that Bee-otch is way too fancy.

Captain Holt: Marshal Haas.
U.S. Marshal Karen Haas: Greg.
[Jake arrives on his ATV, his engine revving]
U.S. Marshal Karen Haas: Larry.
Jake: I can't hear you. Can you hear me?
U.S. Marshal Karen Haas: I cannot hear you.
Captain Holt: What did you say? We can't hear you.
Jake: I can't hear you; I think my engine's too loud.
U.S. Marshal Karen Haas: It's your engine. Turn off your engine.
Jake: I don't know how to turn off the engine. We should talk in your car.
U.S. Marshal Karen Haas: Let's all talk in my car.
Captain Holt: Let's talk in the marshall's car.
Jake: I think we should talk in her-

Captain Holt: Good morning, Carly, Tanny. Looks like you're keeping the machines running smoothly.
Carly: Whatever.
Captain Holt: Carly will be the first to go.

Captain Holt: Excuse me, sir, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.
Taylor: Uh, one second. I'm busy. [buzzer] Oh, at the buzzer! Suck it, Chase, you dirty, little hippy.
Captain Holt: Uh, yes, well, um, as you know, I've been here for four months, and I think I'm a model employee.
Taylor: Oh, no doubt. No doubt. You had the idea to install sinks in the bathrooms. I love that.
Captain Holt: Yes, what I'm getting at is, I'd like to be assistant manager.
Taylor: [scoffs] You serious? Oh, I just never expected you to be interested in management. I mean, you don't seem like the type of person who's really interested in leadership roles.
Captain Holt: Really? Anyone who knows me would say the opposite. I'm very hard-working.
Taylor: Yeah, when you're not totally blazed.
Captain Holt: I assure you that's not me.
Taylor: Okay, tell that to the Count Blunt-ula T-shirt that you were rocking last week.
Captain Holt: It was the only thing in lost and found. A child and his father threw up on me.
Taylor: Okay, I'll think about it. Management! Full of surprises, Greg.

Captain Holt: Oh, now, Stella, you know I'm still getting over the tragic loss of my wife. She was such a strong, female woman with nice, heavy breasts.

Captain Holt: Hey, Larry.
Jake: Oh, hey Greb.
Captain Holt: Greg.
Jake: Ah, that was it. I'm not sure why I have so much trouble remembering probably 'cause our relationship is so casual.

Captain Holt: Uh, do a lap without me. I need to talk to Larry about an issue with our shared fence. Larry, I need to talk to you about an issue with our shared fence.
Jake: Yes, I also need to discuss this shared fence issue with you.

Jake: Okay, fine, I may have had a teensy bit of trouble adjusting when we first got here for, like, six teensy, little months, but I took your advice, and I got a job.
Captain Holt: Doing what?
Jake: I sell ATVs now, eh? Well, the truth is, these little babies sell themselves. They're super fun, and they're a lot safer than you might think if you're standing next to one. If you're driving it, it's actually much more dangerous than you could possibly imagine.

Captain Holt: Well, a job is good. I know being stuck down here in Florida isn't ideal, but we need to make the best of it. In fact, I'm applying for a promotion at my new job.
Jake: Ah, very noice.
Captain Holt: And if all goes well, tonight you might be neighbors with Greg Stickney, Assistant Manager.
Jake: Very double noice.