Season 3 Quotes Page 1 of 76

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Quote from Captain Holt in the episode New Captain

Madeline Wuntch: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Captain Holt: Describing your breakfast?

Quote from Charles in the episode Into the Woods

Boyle: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Boyle: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Boyle: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Boyle: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Boyle: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Boyle: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Oolong Slayer

Jake: Wait a minute, I think I just figured something out.
I got to go.
Gina: Aren't you forgetting something?
*Jake gives Gina a kiss on the forehead*
Gina: Uh no, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Quote from Jake in the episode Boyle's Hunch

Jake: Boyle, they found one of the stole paintings at her house.
Boyle: But she says she didn't know how it ended up there.
She's being set up.
Jake: Framed! Art joke. Continue.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Oolong Slayer

Captain Holt: To catching a serial killer.
Jake: To catching a serial killer.
Gina: To Rihanna, because I love Rihanna.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Mattress

Amy: He said he'll point him out to us.
So you approach on foot from the south, and me and Devon will be in an unmarked car here.
Jake: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Me and Devon"? Didn't you mean "Devon and I"?
Amy: Oh, God.
Jake: I corrected your grammar! Are you so proud of me? Are you horrified? Are you super horny?

Quote from Gina in the episode New Captain

Madeline Wuntch: Trent, Brice, where are we with the name?
Trent: We've narrowed it down to two choices. Petey or Paulie.
Gina: With all due respect, that Pigeon is clearly a Ray-Jay.
Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 Emoji.

Quote from Gina in the episode New Captain

Gina: Captain? The kids want to know where Paulie the Pigeon is. I told them he got sucked up into an airplane engine, is that all right?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Funeral

Sergeant Jeffords: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, sir. You didn't even stop and sniff the bouquet. You always sniff the bouquet.
Holt: Maybe the old Holt did.
But the new Holt chugs Beaujolais from a Burgundy glass without a care. Oh, it's a Sauternes glass.
Look, the alcohol has rendered me a simpleton.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode The Funeral

Sergeant Jeffords: Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay.
And if I may do a third toast.
It'll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.
*groans*
Don't boo me! I lost something important, too!

Quote from Jake in the episode Boyle's Hunch

Jake: Let's go free an innocent woman.
Boyle: Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Boyle's Hunch

Captain Holt: Yes, this is unfortunate, but let's not overreact to one grafito.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Oolong Slayer

Captain Holt: Let's not overlook the fact that he turned his crime scenes into tea parties for dollies.
Gina: Which suggests pre-adolescent trauma leading to a pattern of criminality that probably began as a juvenile.

I'm taking an abnormal psych class, and everyone in it is obsessed with me.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Oolong Slayer

Jake: I am straight-up depressed.
Amy's been doing her best to cheer me up. She gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.
Gina: Ew, it's like you're dating your teacher.
Jake: I know, it's so hot.

Quote from Gina in the episode Ava

Frederick: No, everything's fine, but I am a little concerned about Sharon's blood pressure. And this is a terrible environment.
Jake: I wouldn't call it terrible.
Frederick: We're surrounded by criminals, there's no bed, and you can hear the faint sound of someone screaming through all the vents.
Gina: That's Hitchcock. His arm's stuck in a pneumatic tube. It's hilarious.

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