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Quote from Jake in the episode HalloVeen

Jake: Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
Amy: No, no, it's okay. Go on.
Jake: I love how much you pretend to like "Die Hard."
Amy: I like the second one.
Jake: You don't have to.
Amy: Okay.
Jake: Yeah. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. Also, for reals, I love your butt.
Amy: I love yours too.
Jake: Gross. Amy Santiago will you marry me?
Amy: Jake Peralta, I will marry you.

Quote from Amy in the episode 99

Jake: You might wanna stand back for this, sir. It can get pretty intense.
Amy: [YELLING] All right, you mooks, our union health plan has 100% reimbursement for out-of-state ambulance rides. Scully will fake a medical emergency.
Scully: Don't need to fake it. Always having at least one.
Amy: Great. You call an ambulance, and have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana. The ambulance can drive 25 miles over the posted speed limit, so we'll get there by 9:00 p.m. There's a small airport there, mostly servicing crop dusters. Of course, they can't take passengers, but thanks to a loophole in H.R. 377551, police officers are allowed to commandeer any plane in the interest of national security. The crop duster will land at an airstrip outside of Finksburg, Maryland. We'll take a cab to Baltimore, jump on the 6:48 a.m. train to New York, arriving at 9:26. Kevin will meet us at Penn Station with a fresh Captain's uniform. From there, it's a 29-minute cab ride to One Police Plaza. You change on the way, and we should get to your meeting with five minutes to spare. Stop clapping, you idiots! We gotta move, move, move!

Quote from Rosa in the episode 99

Charles: Okay, we can't get out until Monday afternoon, at the earliest.
Jake: I tried everything. I begged. I pleaded. I even told them that Scully was a Make-a-Wish kid with a rare disease that makes him look like a giant old baby.
Rosa: Did you call it Scullyosis?
Jake: Damn it, Rosa, that's really good and completely useless to me now.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Please be seated. Friends, colleagues, gawking New Yorkers, we are here today to celebrate the marriage of Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago. I've known you both for the last five years. And it has been a true pleasure to watch your distracting childish rivalry evolve into a distracting childish courtship and now into what I'm sure will be a distracting childish marriage. I'm proud of you. And I love you both.
Jake: Permission to say it back?
Captain Holt: Permission granted.
Amy: I love you too, sir.
Jake: Love you, Captain.

Quote from Charles in the episode 99

Charles: Hey, Rosa, are you ready to go streaking?
Rosa: What?
Charles: That's what my dad and I called getting blonde streaks in your hair. We used to do it to our ponytails on road trips. You just take a little lemon up top, and let the sun do the rest. We called it giving each other road head.
Rosa: You just said you called it going streaking.
Charles: It had a couple names.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Game Night

Captain Holt: Diaz, you should be very proud of yourself. I know things aren't exactly where you wanna be right now, but, uh, I promise you they will improve.
Rosa: Thank you, Captain.
Captain Holt: Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So thank you.

Quote from Amy in the episode Jake & Amy

Jake: But, look, I know it seems like everything sucks, but why don't we just get married tomorrow? You know, we won't have a venue or a band or any of our guests, but we could go to city hall.
Amy: Jake, do you really want to get married in the same place people go to get restraining orders?
Jake: Amy Santiago, I would marry you any time, any place. I would marry you in the steaming filth of the Gowanus Canal.
Amy: Sweet. But also, gross.
Jake: I would marry you on the G Train in the summertime when the air conditioning is broken.
Amy: Damn, really?
Jake: I would marry you on top of the Empire State Building.
Amy: Well, that sounds kind of nice.
Jake: During a King Kong attack.
Amy: Oh, yeah, that's not good. Okay. City hall it is.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode HalloVeen

Captain Holt: Wait a minute this isn't the championship cummerbund. This is some common cummerbund. And you're not Cheddar. You're just some common bitch.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Now I believe you've prepared your own vows?
Jake: Yes, I was going to do an "Addams Family" themed rap, but my beat-boxer isn't here. That's the only reason it's not happening. So, Ames, today has been a crazy day. But I shouldn't be surprised, because we've had a lot of crazy days. There was our first date, our first kiss, the first time you told me you loved me, and the day you told me you would marry me. Also, yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, because every single day that I get to be with someone as amazing as you is crazy to me. I love you. And I'm worried about dancing in front of our friends. The end.

Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Big House Pt. 2

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Quote from Jake in the episode HalloVeen

Jake: Halloween. Mua-ha-ha-ha. It's heist time. Argh!
Amy: Thought you could get a head start on heist prep? Good luck. I'm already dressed.
Jake: Well, I'm also dressed, and I made breakfast. Wait, where are my eggs?
Captain Holt: In my belly. [BOTH SCREAM] Now get a move on, it's heist time.
Jake: I love Halloween!

Quote from Jake in the episode HalloVeen

Jake: [flashback] Mr. Santiago, I'm calling to inform you that I plan to ask your daughter to marry me, but since it's 2017, I am not asking you for your permission, as she is not your property, nor would she be mine, if she chooses to say yes. She's a strong independent woman, and she don't need no man. That being said, I truly hope she says yes. But it's her decision, so just back off!
Amy: Aww, that was perfect. What did he say?
Jake: I have no idea, I left a voicemail. I'm terrified of him.

Quote from Jake in the episode HalloVeen

Jake: Look, no one gave me the idea. I decided to ask Amy to marry me all on my own on April 28th.
Amy: [flashback] [GASPS] There's a typo in this crossword puzzle.

Quote from Scully in the episode The Venue

Captain Holt: What's going on here?
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm throwing Teri-with-an-I's party with my own money. I didn't know her favorite kind of ice cream, so I printed a photo of her and showed it to all the ice cream places within 30 blocks. Nobody recognized her, so I got every flavor, 200 pints.
Scully: This is the greatest day of my life.
Captain Holt: Have you considered this Teri-with-an-I might not be an ice cream person?
Sergeant Jeffords: I did think that. That's why there's a taco bar coming.
Scully: Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus barbecue.
Scully: Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus a popcorn guy.
Scully: [laughing] Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus vegan options.
Scully: Why?

Quote from Amy in the episode The Favor

Rosa: I've never met anyone who cares so much about stupid bureaucracy.
Amy: Bureaucracy is not stupid. It's elegant. It's a beautiful puzzle waiting to be cracked. Every rule, every form has its purpose. It all fits together, and when the puzzle is solved and you take a step back and see the big picture, it's like staring into the face of God.

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