Popular Quotes Page 1 of 55

Quote from Gina in the episode Defense Rests

Gina: So you choose your dad over me, your co-worker who hates you?

4.8

Quote from Gina in the episode Det. Dave Majors

Gina: If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

4.8

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Wednesday Incident

Captain Holt: Coat! Coat! Jacket! Coat! Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?

4.8

Quote from Jake in the episode Operation Broken Feather

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

4.8

Quote from Jake in the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

4.8

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch is circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

4.7

Quote from Gina in the episode Det. Dave Majors

Boyle: Are you leaving us for Copperhead?
Gina: Because I am prepared to light Charles on fire in protest.

4.7

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Unsolvable

Captain Holt: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Jake: Yes.
Captain Holt: I was hula hooping.
Kevin and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.
Jake: Oh, my God.
Captain Holt: I've mastered all the moves.
The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.
Jake: Why are you telling me this?
Captain Holt: Because no one will ever believe you.
Jake: You sick son of a bitch.

4.7

Quote from Charles in the episode Into the Woods

Boyle: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Boyle: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Boyle: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Boyle: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Boyle: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Boyle: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

4.7

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Boyle's Hunch

Captain Holt: Police approval ratings are - pardon my language - in the commode.

4.7

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode New Captain

Madeline Wuntch: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Captain Holt: Describing your breakfast?

4.7

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Beach House

Terry: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

4.7

Quote from Gina in the episode Charges and Specs

Gina: The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I'm incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

4.7

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Sal's Pizza

Cory: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!

4.7

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode M.E. Time

Captain Holt: I threw away the photo because I think it's ostentatious to hang pictures of yourself, especially when you haven't earned a place on the wall.
Amy: Oh.
Captain Holt: But you would have me hang a Baroque oil painting of myself like I'm a North Korean dictator. What, no ornate gold frame? Why am I not astride my noble steed, clad in armor?
Amy: We could add a horse.

4.7

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

4.6

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode 48 Hours

Terry: He makes me feel so small!
Raymond: Well, who cares what he thinks? You're a police sergeant! You're a grown man!
Now take your nap. And if I see the lights on in here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you.

4.6

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Boyle's Hunch

Captain Holt: Yes, this is unfortunate, but let's not overreact to one grafito.

4.6

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode New Captain

Captain Holt: So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you'd still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.

4.6

Quote from Gina in the episode Boyle-Linetti Wedding

Gina: My mom is marrying, shudder, Charles's dad, toilet emoji.

4.6

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Captain, how are you feeling?
Captain Holt: Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.
Amy: Smart. Something bland.
Captain Holt: That's my favorite breakfast.

4.6

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Beach House

Jake: You guys, this is gonna be fine. I mean Terry's our boss and he comes with us every year.
Terry: Correction, you bring Vacation Terry, and he is no man's boss. When the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled.

4.6

Quote from Jake in the episode Beach House

Jake: Okay, we don't have much time. The Captain's in the bathroom and we all know how efficient he is in there.

4.6

Quote from Charles in the episode USPIS

Jake: Rosa has every right to be angry. I didn't listen to her and I messed up her task force. The only way to make this up to her is to do the worst, most awful thing imaginable.
Charles: Dip your penis in vinegar.
Jake: What? No! Why would you say that?
Charles: In Sunday school they said the Babylonians did that to their enemies. I've been terrified ever since.

4.6

Quote from Gina in the episode Chocolate Milk

Gina: Hold it up. You're gonna let some quack doctor just knife around down there? You are blessed with a great power, and you should never snip its wings. You should let it soar.

4.6

Quote from Jake in the episode Undercover

Jake: Okay, don't shoot! That's how people get shot.

4.6

Quote from Jake in the episode Tactical Village

Jake: When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

4.6

Quote from Charles in the episode The Bet

Charles: Truth time. We love your husband. He's a great cop. We will do anything to protect him. And you have incredibly attractive hands.
And you! What are you doing, lying to your wife? Unless you want to end up moving into my ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement with me, you better man up. Don't you ever keep anything from this beautiful woman again.
Seriously, you are beautiful. If he ever lies to you again, you can call me.

4.6

Quote from Jake in the episode Christmas

Raymond: Captains receive meaningless threats all the time. It's really no big deal.
Jake: Of course. Totally. I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that's right 'cause it threatens death!

4.6

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode The Vulture

Holt: Still waiting, sergeant.
Terry: It's just, the target looks exactly like a friend of mine. It's freaking me out.
Holt: You have a friend, who's just a silhouette?
Terry: Yes!

4.6

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