Quote from the episode Full Boyle
Jake: Look, I'm sorry I threw your ring in that boiling pork water.
Charles: Yeah. Sorry I pepper sprayed you.
Jake: I'm sorry I pepper sprayed you. Burned like hell, right? Thank God for that soda.
Quote from the episode Charges and Specs
Jake: We need to blend in. Stretch your leg above your head.
Amy: What? You stretch your leg up over your head.
Jake: You don't think I wouldn't if I could?
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: Man, I wish you hadn't read that Annie Liebowitz book.
Charles: Quit calling it a book. It was a visual journey. You probably think I should shoot this in colour instead of black and white.
Jake: Yes, shoot colour. Why would you even shoot in black and white?
Quote from the episode AC/DC
Jake: New trip name, AC/DC, Atlantic City Detectives Club.
Quote from the episode Det. Dave Majors
Jake: Juicy. Juicy. Good call. Good call. Tight. Tight. Tight.
Quote from the episode The Chopper
Charles: Ooh, I can't wait to read that book. What are you gonna call it? "Go ahead, Jake my day".
Jake: No, yours is much better.
"Case closed, Jake open".
I know. I said yours was better.
Quote from the episode The Chopper
Captain Holt: That's enough chit chat, already.
Jake: Come on. How many people have to die before you start having fun?
Quote from the episode Johnny and Dora
Rosa: Jake, you need a jacket or something.
Charles: Well, Scully left his sports coat back there. Oh, but it'll never fit Jake's athletic body.
Unless.
Jake: No, I don't want to do that.
Charles: You have to.
Jake: I'm not going to do it.
Charles: You're doing it.
Amy: What do you have to do?
Jake: Don Johnson it.
Quote from the episode Johnny and Dora
Jake: Man, I forgot how long your signature takes. I'm just gonna watch Braveheart on my phone, real quick.
Quote from the episode The Mole
Jake: Hey, I'm about to sit down with internal affairs. I figure that I will charm them with a couple of quips about my own internal affairs. Talking about my tum-tum.
Quote from the episode The Mole
Jake: Kev!
Kevin: Jake, it's after midnight. This had better be about a murder.
Jake: No. I wish.
Quote from the episode The Mole
Jake: Why would I be the mole?
Captain Holt: You were just caught sneaking classified material into the precinct. You spent six months undercover in the mafia and have many criminal contacts. You've been known to flaunt departmental rules and regulations, and you are deeply in debt.
Jake: Well, if you hadn't tricked me into getting car insurance, I wouldn't be in debt.
Quote from the episode Jake and Sophia
Jake: Not to over state it, but I'm definitely gonna die alone, and work is all I have.
Quote from the episode Lockdown
Amy: Hey, did you send that from your personal or work account?
Jake: Personal. It's a personal matter involving a personal friend and his personal uncle.
Amy: So you remembered to turn off your signature, right?
Jake: Oh, no.
Quote from the episode Stakeout
Captain Holt: I've been planning how to zing Madeline when she puts the medal on. I have the perfect line. "Wuntch-time is over.
It's a play on lunch time.
Jake: Yes, devastating burn, sir.
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