Captain Holt: But this is not just any pie. It's an English walnut pie from the Cottage Inn - in Saratoga Springs.
Kevin: Raymond and I drive all the way upstate for it every year. It's the finest sweet treat on earth. Even better than a plain scone.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wow, that good, huh?

Captain Holt: There's only one thing I still can't figure out. Why'd you do it?
Kevin: Because it's disgusting.
Captain Holt: Oh, my.
Kevin: That pie is an abomination. It has beef suet and apple seeds in it. Why? It's a walnut pie.

Captain Holt: I don't know why we can't still make the drive next year. We just don't have to buy the pie.
Kevin: A trip with no purpose? [chuckles] Raymond.

Kevin: Well, everyone's plans seem lovely.
Scully: Oh, Hitchcock and I didn't say ours.
Kevin: How unfortunate.

Jake: Okay, I think you're actually going to like this one. Nic Cage is a chemist-
Kevin: Interesting, keep going.
Jake: Who has to break into Alcatraz-
Kevin: Absolutely not! Are there no other actors?