Jake: So?
Amy: [singing] Casecation All I ever wanted.

Jake: So have you ever heard of a guy named Bruno Rojas?
Amy: Yeah, big guy in the Colombian cartel, right?
Jake: He was, until he got shot in the chest yesterday by his top lieutenant. Apparently, the bullet went straight through his nipple.
Amy: Whoa. Nature's bull's-eye.
Jake: Oh, my God, I love the way your brain works.

Amy: It's not a big deal, okay? Just take the book. I promise I won't tell anyone.
Hitchcock: Hey, Sarge, I heard you need some sex tips.
Amy: Except for the people I already told.

Captain Holt: To Sergeant Santiago.You were on maternity leave longer than expected because of the pandemic, but now that all first responders have been vaccinated, you've returned. Cheers.
All: Cheers.
Jake: Not exactly an emotional welcome back... Are you crying?
Amy: Oh, he just always knows exactly what to say.
Jake: She's consistent.

Dr. Ronald Yee: Well, the flies are not reacting. I can keep going, but I'll tell you now, it's very unlikely there are any traces of blood in here.
Rosa: Well, according to my timeline, this is the only place the murder could have happened.
Amy: Sorry, Rosa, looks like your timeline's wrong. Because the flies don't lie. You can use that if you want.
Captain Holt: He's not gonna use a cheeky slogan. He's a man of science.
Dr. Ronald Yee: I like it. The flies don't lie.

Captain Holt: Dr. Yee has recently bred a species of fly that has increased sensitivities to certain human proteins.
Amy: They can detect trace amounts of blood, even if it's been cleaned with bleach.
Captain Holt: Or masked with animal urine.
Amy: Oh, I was building to that. Thanks for stealing my thunder.

Amy: Anyway, Dr. Yee is a genius in the field of forensic entomology. They call him "Father Fly." How cool is that?
Rosa: 0%.

Rosa: So I'm positive the murder happened inside this apartment, but CSI could find no traces of blood. I'd like to ask the FBI to bring in a team of lab techs.
Captain Holt: This would require Commissioner Kelly signing off. Before I make that ask, is there anything else we can do?
Amy: Um, I'm pretty sure there is. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Captain Holt: I am now.
Both: We need Yee!

Amy: That seems like a lot of work to open every time you have to pay a bribe.
I would keep it in this filing cabinet. [gasps] I found it! I beat the golden boy! I'm the golden girl!

Amy: Guys! Vice principal caught me in the library. Let's roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: Look, all I'm saying is maybe you can ask the downstairs people to be more-
Amy: Excuse me? "Downstairs people"? That's a little offensive.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, don't get it twisted. It's just where you came from. Some of my best friends are downstairs people.
Amy: Okay, I think you know exactly what that sounds like, you upstairs people.
Rosa: Oh, thank you for that nice compliment.
Amy: It wasn't a compliment, and you know it! I said it with 'tude.
Sergeant Jeffords: Classic downstairs person.
Amy: Wow, you are prejudiced against the first floor. I'm taking this up the chain.

Jake: He asked me to ditch class one day with him and his buddies, steal a school van, and go get drunk at his parents' cabin, but the day before we were supposed to go, someone ratted Brandon out, and he got suspended. He thought I was the one who told, and from that day forward, everyone called me "The Tattler."
Amy: Tattler. It's a sexy nickname.

Amy: Jake, this isn't so bad. History is full of great tattlers. Martin Luther King tattled on racists.
Jake: That's a pretty undercutting way of describing his accomplishments.
Amy: I was trying to help. It felt bad.

Captain Holt: Prong two... Jeffords and Santiago, your job is to keep crime down. Figure out how we police this precinct with no police.
Sergeant Jeffords: Prong two, baby... the best prong.
Jake: I mean, we're all in it together. It's not like this is a competition between prongs.
Amy: Says the prong who breaks the most.

Charles: Hey, Amy, I wanted to give you this. I made Mac a truffle squash puree. I'm not trying to show you how to do anything, I'm just trying to apologize.
Amy: It's okay, Charles. I actually learned something from you yesterday. Mac has trouble sleeping because I bother him too much. When he was locked in that room no one could check on him, and it was the longest nap he's ever taken. So thank you for the mousse.
Charles: I can't believe you actually took it.
Amy: Of course I took it. You locked my baby in a room, Charles. You're gonna be cooking for him until he goes to college, okay?
Charles: Okay.
Amy: Great, thanks.