Captain Holt: Why are there firefighters here? Did one of them turn out to be an arsonist and burn down their own bar?
Rosa: Actually, yes.
Captain Holt: So predictable.

Captain Holt: Look, we can find a new bar that's not beneath us. What about Bel Vino? They've got a great selection of Italian reds, and your feet don't stick to the floor if you stand in one place too long.

Captain Holt: No, I'm here to help you win.
Rosa: What is happening? Why is this?
Captain Holt: It's something you said on one of your voicemails, after you had sung the entirety of a song called "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya." You thought you had hung up, but you hadn't.

Jake: Another cold brew? Don't mind if I "cold do." Nailed it. I am loving this machine that Charles brought in.
Captain Holt: It is nice. The trick is to let the coffee warm up to room temperature. I'm already on my second cup.

Captain Holt: Hello, I'm Captain Raymond Holt, and I can assure you, this is not a fun office.
Gordon Lundt: Thank goodness. In that case, my interest is renewed.

Captain Holt: Mr. Lundt, would you like to go to the barrel-making exhibit this evening?
Gordon Lundt: Yes, Captain Holt. I could make time for that.
Captain Holt: [to Jake] I need a shower.

Gordon Lundt: Look at that. They put the sherry barrels right up front.
Captain Holt: Ugh. I hate it when museums pander to the tourists.

Dr. Oliver Cox: We also have a DNA match between hair on the head of this body and the Disco Strangler.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, this is clearly Zumowski. And that's a good thing. You can finally say good-bye to your nemesis.
Captain Holt: Thanks, sergeant. That's a nice thought. For an idiot to have. Look at this.
Charles: A dirty little string?
Captain Holt: Oh, it's not just any old string. It's a yo-yo string, the most dangerous part of the yo-yo. The Strangler wanted me to find this. He's out there, and he's taunting me.

Captain Holt: He's here! Dr. Yee's on his way up. How's my breath? [exhales]
Amy: Perfect. Yee's gonna love it.
Rosa: This is not a good color on you guys.

Captain Holt: No, Diaz is right. Your face is horrifying. You should leave before- Hello, Dr.Yee! [to Terry] Out back now.

Amy: Watching him work is amazing.
Captain Holt: Mm-hmm.
Amy: I have to get a video.
Captain Holt: Santiago, please. Hold the phone horizontal to get more flies in frame.

Captain Holt: How about that. Dr. Yee and his flies saved the day after all.
Rosa: No, I did.
Captain Holt: Should we call Yee and tell him the good news?
Amy: Ugh, it would probably make him feel so much better.
Sergeant Jeffords: What is going on?
Captain Holt: He did seem so sad.
Amy: So sad.
Rosa: He should be sad. He's a fraud.
Captain Holt: Shh. It's ringing.

Kevin: Obviously I know that they're wrong, but they put you in your own head, and you're not yourself around them. I'm sorry, I was just trying to protect you.
Captain Holt: Yes, of course, thank you for saving me from myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go sit by the pool and read some fiction like the bimbo that I am.
Jake: There's a pool here?

Jake: Okay, so there were no witnesses, no cameras, and no prints.
Captain Holt: In other words, we have nothing. That's what you get when you put a bimbo on the case.

Captain Holt: Yes. Children are wonders.