Sergeant Jeffords: All right, she should be here any minute. Her name is Alicia.
Switch with me. That's your good side.
Rosa: I have a bad side?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, damn, you didn't know?

Amy: Who would do something like this?
Jake: Well, I clearly have an arch-nemesis. Finally. Must be someone I put away who's hell-bent on revenge. He's probably gonna make me choose between saving the city and saving the woman I love. Little does he know, I can save both.

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, no, I left it in the car! It's not my fault. The driver was so hot. Not for me, for Rosa. She was clearly flirting with her. Oh, I know, I'll just call the company and bring her back here. And then who knows what'll happen?
Rosa: Wait a minute, did you do this intentionally so I'd have to see that girl again?
Sergeant Jeffords: No! That's crazy. This is Jake and Amy's wedding. I would never do that. But you gotta admit, it does seem like the universe is pushing you two together.
Rosa: Terry!

Captain Holt: Where is he? Cheddar? Cheddar! Cheddar the dog!
Gina: Oh, he ate the cake.
Captain Holt: Oh, Cheddar, you furry little pig.

Charles: So here it is. I really hope you like it. But if you don't, I will kill myself.

Amy: Are you actually mad that someone might not hate you?
Jake: Yeah, I am, Amy! Oh, wow, that's a bad color on me, isn't it?

Amy: How did this guy even find out about the wedding? The stupid engagement announcement Charles put in the paper! It had the time and location of the ceremony.
Charles: Amy, be very careful about throwing around accusations like that, because if you're trying to say I somehow ruined Jake's wedding, then I'm gonna kill myself! So tread lightly.

Amy: Were you able to trace the number that called in the threat?
Jake: Yes. It was a burner, but they caught it pinging off a cell tower in Fort Greene one block away from the last known address of Frank Gillespie.
Amy: Who?
Jake: I arrested him for armed robbery in 2008, and he got out of Rikers a year ago. He's got be my arch-nemesis. He's definitely obsessed with me.
Amy: Just 'cause you arrested him?
Jake: Well, we didn't have enough evidence against him at first, so let's just say I had to get a little creative.
Amy: You framed him?
Jake: What? No. Ames. I went undercover and became best friends with him. And then he told me about his lymphoma, and we ran a 10K together, and then I arrested him. He felt so betrayed. The trial was very emotional.

Jake: Okay, now for the ring bearer situation. This actually might be a blessing in disguise. I know that he's your nephew, but I wasn't super jazzed about Mason.
Amy: Yeah, he should be cuter.
Jake: His face is too small for his head. He's a "Dick Tracy" villain.

Captain Holt: Congratulations once again to Jake and Amy. And now that everyone's here, I have an email that I need to open.
Jake: All right, weirdo, not something we usually announce to the squad.
Gina: It says if he got the commissioner job.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my God! What?
Gina: He was too scared to read it all day.
Captain Holt: I was, until I heard something very wise tonight. Life is unpredictable. Not everything is in our control. But as long as we're with the right people, we can handle anything. So I'd like to receive this news with all of you.
Amy: He quoted me.
Captain Holt: Okay, here we go. Well, from the look on my face, I'm sure you can guess what it says.
Jake: No! We have no idea at all. Just tell us, you monster!

Amy: Jake.
Jake: Ames, you look beautiful. But when are you getting your makeup put on? Y'all, she woke up like this.

Charles: Okay, Gillespie's apartment's right over here.
Jake: Oh, this is exciting. We're gonna catch my arch-nemesis. Do you think he has a shrine of photos of me with the eyes scratched out?
Charles: Let's not rule out the very real possibility that it's entirely sexual.
Jake: Oh, man, that would be super upsetting and so cool.
Charles: I know.

Jake: I can't believe this is a rec center. It looks amazing.
Charles: You look amazing. Foxy as hell.
Sergeant Jeffords: Simmer down, Boyle.
Jake: No, no, I love it. Amp it up, Boyle.
Charles: Happy to. Jake, your body's kicking and skin is clear as a summer day.
Jake: Ooh!

Amy: Hey, do you remember Dario Moretti, that money launderer I arrested? He lives right around here too.
Jake: So?
Amy: He hated me. What if this is the work of my arch-nemesis and not yours?
Jake: So you're suggesting I'm not involved in this at all? I mean, you hear yourself, right? That's a bit of a stretch.

Captain Holt: Oh, my.
Gina: What?
Captain Holt: I just got an email from the mayor's office telling me if I'm the next commissioner of the NYPD.
Gina: Well, well, well, finally something to care about today.