Amy: Man, it's gonna melt in the sun.
Charles: Don't worry, Amy, I'm gonna keep it chilled with my cool breath.
Jake: Oh, my God, the cake looks amazing! Charles, why are you spitting on it?
Charles: Because I didn't ruin your wedding.
Jake: 'kay.

Amy: I planned everything so perfectly, and now it's all falling apart.
Jake: No, it isn't. Take a deep breath. All right, we got this. Terry, Rosa, will you please take this veil to a dry cleaner. And if they won't do a rush job, make them. Use force.
Sergeant Jeffords: I mean, we're not gonna abuse our power.
Jake: Of course not. We're good cops. I was just exaggerating. Rosa, I was not exaggerating.
Rosa: Great.

Jake: Hey, I know you. You're Mlepnos.
Mlepnos: No. We have never met.
Jake: No, I'm pretty sure we have.
Mlepnos: You sell me horse blood?
Jake: No.
Mlepnos: Would you like to buy horse blood?
Jake: No.

Captain Holt: Oh, my.
Gina: What?
Captain Holt: I just got an email from the mayor's office telling me if I'm the next commissioner of the NYPD.
Gina: Well, well, well, finally something to care about today.

Jake: The bomb squad is already here. And they brought a robot. This is exactly how I imagined my wedding would be when I was a kid.

Jake: Okay, now for the ring bearer situation. This actually might be a blessing in disguise. I know that he's your nephew, but I wasn't super jazzed about Mason.
Amy: Yeah, he should be cuter.
Jake: His face is too small for his head. He's a "Dick Tracy" villain.

Teddy: Yeah, I felt bad about how everything went down today, so I offered to help.
Jake: Oh, that's nice.
Teddy: Also, are you guys doing that thing where someone gets to object to this union, or is that later?
Amy: We're not doing that.
Teddy: You've outsmarted me. Congratulations.

Charles: So here it is. I really hope you like it. But if you don't, I will kill myself.

Captain Holt: Okay. Moving on. Do you, Amy Santiago, take Jake Peralta to be your husband?
Amy: I do.
Captain Holt: And do you, Jake Peralta, take Amy Santiago to be your wife?
Jake: I absolutely do.
Captain Holt: By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I'd like to announce that your honeymoon vacation request status has officially been moved from pending to approved. You're married. You may kiss the bride.

Charles: Okay, Gillespie's apartment's right over here.
Jake: Oh, this is exciting. We're gonna catch my arch-nemesis. Do you think he has a shrine of photos of me with the eyes scratched out?
Charles: Let's not rule out the very real possibility that it's entirely sexual.
Jake: Oh, man, that would be super upsetting and so cool.
Charles: I know.

Jake: Charles, it looks amazing.
Amy: It's beautiful. How can I ever repay you?
Charles: Get pregnant. Use your body to give the world more Jake.
Jake: Holy crap. All right. I'm gonna take Charles away from you now. I will see you up there.

Amy: How did this guy even find out about the wedding? The stupid engagement announcement Charles put in the paper! It had the time and location of the ceremony.
Charles: Amy, be very careful about throwing around accusations like that, because if you're trying to say I somehow ruined Jake's wedding, then I'm gonna kill myself! So tread lightly.

Amy: Jake.
Jake: Ames, you look beautiful. But when are you getting your makeup put on? Y'all, she woke up like this.

Sergeant Jeffords: But you never know when you're gonna find your dream person.
Anyone on the street could be they.
Rosa: All right, it feels like you Googled "how to talk to your bisexual friends."
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah.

Amy: Who would do something like this?
Jake: Well, I clearly have an arch-nemesis. Finally. Must be someone I put away who's hell-bent on revenge. He's probably gonna make me choose between saving the city and saving the woman I love. Little does he know, I can save both.