Captain Holt: We're not gonna force our way into an armored vehicle. We'll need to use our brains. In the end, Gina will just hand me the keys to that truck.
[later, Holt knocks on the window of Gina's armored van:]
Gina: You.
Captain Holt: [on phone] Unusual activity on your socials?
Gina: You hacked me.
Captain Holt: I gave control of your entire social media portfolio to Hitchcock and Scully.
Gina: And you told them to embarrass me?
Captain Holt: Worse, I told them to just be themselves.
Gina: My God, I've agreed to host an Instagram Live for Outback Steakhouse.
Captain Holt: They're inside the precinct, if you want to go stop them.
Gina: You're a monster.

Jake: Hey there, Ray-Ray.
Captain Holt: Nice outfit, Peralta. It's very attractive. I'm making a pun. I know that's a magnet suit because I sold it to you.
Jake: You're Kazimir?
Captain Holt: [Ukrainian: "Of course I'm Kazimir"] And unfortunately for you, I have a remote that can active your vest and prevent you from controlling it.
Jake: No, no, no!
Captain Holt: [Ukrainian: "Thanks a lot, dumbass."] You stick around, okay? "Stick around" was another magnet pun.
Jake: Yeah, I get it was a pun!

Jake: Okay, according to the tracker it's close. Let's just agree that we're gonna pick it up and head to the Brooklyn Bridge.
Amy: Yeah, I agree. That you can suck it! We will end up at Shaw's, which is actually a meaningful final location. [tires screech, horn honks]
Sergeant Jeffords: Are we too late? Did you get the tube?
Jake: No, it's somewhere in this building. Brooklyn Storage Solutions.
Amy: Wait a second.
Charles: I know this place.
Jake: Yes, this is where we worked our first case with Captain Holt.
Captain Holt: That's right, it's a meaningful location. Tonight is my victory lap. I planned the perfect goodbye.
Jake: You have gotta be kidding me.

Jake: Sir, that's a brilliant idea.
Captain Holt: It wasn't an idea. It was a scathing indictment of your personal hero.

Jake: "The free-style killer". Man, how come all the killers you caught had such cool names? The best name I ever brought in was "Narrow shoes Sam" because-
Captain Holt: His shoes were narrow and his name was Sam. I get it.

Captain Holt: Now, I know you'd all prefer to go to a bar, drink beer, and eat chips of various textures.

Captain Holt: Santiago, you're putting yourself under too much pressure. And that stress is making it even harder for you to quit. Some things might come easier to you if you stop being such a perfectionist. A concept you should become familiar with.
Amy: "Familiar with?" Mmm, a dangling preposition?
Captain Holt: I'm setting an example. I made an error and I'm not going to correct it. I'm just gonna let it dangle Dangle Dangle.
Amy: Thank you, Captain.

Sergeant Jeffords: You drank a soda? Not sure that's the worst thing in the world.
Captain Holt: It was the worst thing in the world worse than a fruit-forward Riesling.
No, I'm not exaggerating.

Rosa: Sir, why didn't you tell us?
Captain Holt: I didn't want any of you entangled in this. This is my decision, and it's also my responsibility.

Captain Holt: According to a recent study, the physical act of smiling can improve your mood. I suggest we give it a shot. Eh? Now you all try. Big smiles, bigger, bigger! Great, now we just have to stay like this for the next two hours. Can you feel it working?

Sergeant Jeffords: It's a beginning-of-work hang.
Captain Holt: And why are you all in such good moods?
Amy: Because you told us that you're miserable, too. And that means you'll fight to get us off the night shift, right?
Captain Holt: Well, here's what I have to say about that: The night shift stinks. Stinks like a butt. And I will do everything in my power to make sure we get back to the day shift. What are we standing around for? Put some Sousa on already. I want to get wild.

Jake: Now, then, locking the caboodle.
Captain Holt: The "ca-boo-dale" will be placed in the center of the bullpen.
Jake: Right, and what is the name of the store at the mall that sells the sticky pastries?
Captain Holt: You mean the "See-nay-bone"?
Jake: Yeah, that was it. Thanks. Continue.

Jake: [gasps] The caboodle!
Amy: The caboodle!
Captain Holt: The "ca-boo-dale"!

Amy: Sir, say something.
Captain Holt: I'm sorry, but there's been a police emergency. There's a bomb.
[crowd murmurs] Not here, far away, but they still need us. So Merry Christmas. And don't think about the bomb. Bye.
Hitchcock: That sounded great.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not now, Hitchcock.

Captain Holt: We cannot let this stand. But there's no way we can beat them. What do we do?
Hitchcock: My rapping's still on the table.
Captain Holt: It's not even in the dining room.