Captain Holt: No, I mean, quitting permanently, I'm putting in my resignation as soon as I get back home. I better hurry if I want to be at the airport six hours ahead of my flight.

Amy: Jake, why is he here?
Jake: Because he's quitting the force, so I brought him to convince him not to, but obviously that is not important anymore. All right, Captain, it's been a good run. Thank you for teaching me the importance of a tie in the workplace, and the door is right over here.

Amy: What? You're quitting?
Captain Holt: Yes, I am.
Amy: No, you're not. We're keeping you right here.
Captain Holt: How are you going to do that? Physically restrain me?
Amy: Great idea. Is there anything in Charles's box of nightmares that could be used to tie up Holt?
Jake: Yes. Literally everything in here could be used to tie up a person.

Rosa: Sarge, I keep getting calls about my drug case from- What the hell is going on?
Sergeant Jeffords: Nothing. Just deciding what to do about your sanitation issue, like a boss.
Rosa: You're looking for Captain Holt's manual aren't you?
Sergeant Jeffords: Please, Diaz. Top Dog Terry does not need to look for Captain Holt's manual. He knows it's on his computer. Top Dog Terry was looking for the password.

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina. Do you know Captain Holt's password?
Gina: Oh, Terry, just because I know all your passwords doesn't mean I know Captain Holt's.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, we could probably guess it.
Gina: Why don't you try BaldByChoice or PecMan or MacklemoreEnthusiast?
Sergeant Jeffords: Stop saying my passwords. Damn, Gina. Now Terry's got to update his keychain.

Rosa: Start simple. Kevin with a capital K and a 1 instead of an I.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I feel good about that. Locked out? Too many failed attempts? I only guessed once. Computer will now delete hard drive? I've got to fix this. [throws laptop against the wall]
Rosa: Good. You fixed it.

Charles: I can't figure out what went wrong between our parents. They were so in love.
Gina: Oh, okay, so we're having a conversation?
Charles: No, to get them back together, we need to know what happened. Did your mom tell you?
Gina: Nope.
Charles: Damn it. Okay, let's brainstorm. It could be that my dad is too clingy or too masculine.
Gina: You know what? I'm going to play a game on my phone while you go on this little journey.
Charles: He overshares, he's indecisive, he's always crying.
Gina: Oh, I made it inside the temple.
Charles: He wears a kimono a lot.
Gina: I became a hawk. I have talons.
Charles: Well, he can't keep a secret. He has a clinically loose pelvis.
Gina: Okay, that did break through. I heard "loose pelvis."

Gina: Charles, you've got to stop. It's none of those things.
Charles: Wait. You said your mom didn't tell you anything. Do you know what happened?
Gina: Yes, I do. And it's none of your business, Charles. Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
Charles: Really, Gina. And where does my nose belong if not inside our parents?

Jake: Okay, so we can get away from Holt. I mean, should we tell him to leave, that he's ruining our honeymoon?
Amy: No, we can't. That would crush him, and he's already so crushed. Wait, I got it.
Jake: We kill Holt.
Amy: No.
Jake: No, that was crazy for a multitude of reasons.

Amy: We have a bunch of fun activities planned. If we include him, it'll cheer him up, and he'll leave.
Jake: Right, but aren't most of our activities kind of geared towards couples?
Amy: Name one couples' activity that wouldn't be more fun with your boss there.
[cut to:]
Chef Kinkle: Welcome to Sensual Food Tasting: The Art of Feeding Your Lover.
Captain Holt: I feel like I don't belong here.

Amy: Mm, I love how the mud revitalizes your skin.
Captain Holt: And I love how it masks my shame.
Jake: I am loving this.

Amy: Mmm.
Jake: Mmm.
Captain Holt: Mmm. This is actually quite pleasant. You know, when you invited me to join you today, I was skeptical. I had been sitting by the pool contentedly watching a bee struggle to avoid drowning and thinking to myself how I am like that bee.
Jake: Man, I hope it survived. We can't afford to lose any more bees.
Captain Holt: It didn't.

Captain Holt: The point is that I am glad you invited me into your frivolous activities. You helped me to remember there's more to life than the NYPD.
Amy: Wow, that's great to hear, sir.
Captain Holt: I feel a lot better. I think I may be heading home. Unless you need a third for tonight's activities.
Jake: What are we-
Amy: Sensual pottery.
Jake: I think we're good.

Captain Holt: Since the rejection, a great sadness has enveloped me. I kept expecting this dark feeling to pass, but it's only gotten worse.

Amy: Not getting the job you want stinks. In first grade, I was passed over for line leader, and I'm still pissed. Kyle D.'s lines had curves and gaps and cutting galore. It was a frickin' carnival.