Gina: Amy, I too have a gift, okay? Tonight, until the stroke of midnight, I will not make fun of you in any way at all, no matter what.
Amy: That is so sweet. And my gift to you is a cray-cray night of funky fun!
Gina: I fear I've already made the biggest mistake of my life.

Charles: I just found out that your mom left my dad. They're getting divorced.
Gina: Eh, they had a good run. Fun fact: The average American marriage lasts fewer than two days.
Charles: That's not true.
Gina: It doesn't have to be. It's commentary.

Gina: All right Amy, it's time. Put the book in the barrel. Let's go.
Amy: No! I can't do it.
Gina: What? I thought you wanted us to change you.
Amy: I thought I did too, but I don't. I like having emotions, okay? This is who I am. You're leaving and that's a really big change and I'm gonna cry about it a lot, okay?
Gina: And there it is. Another flawless Gina Moment.
Amy: What? What's going on?
Gina: Amy, the lesson I wanted to leave you with is to just be yourself. If you want to cry like an idiot for hours on end, just do it. You wanna make a big old ugly book full of all my brilliant thoughts, do it. Do you!

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, Gina. How's it feel to be back? Any trouble adjusting?
Gina: Adjusting to what?
Sergeant Jeffords: To life as a working mom. You have to juggle the baby, the job, your new business.
Gina: Terry, juggling isn't hard. That's why the salary for jugglers is so low. Name one rich juggler.
Sergeant Jeffords: Doesn't Dave Coulier juggle?
Gina: If you're reaching for Coulier, then you've already lost the argument, Terr-Bear.

Gina: Can we not do this right now, Terry? I'm in the midst of a personal tragedy.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my God. Is everything okay with your family?
Gina: Family, what? No, this is serious. Floorgasm just came by and danced me out of the group.

Gina: And while I generally nail everything, I'm just having trouble balancing my studies and my passion for dance.
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus, you're working full-time.
Gina: Yeah, that actually doesn't factor into it whatsoever.

Gina: Attention, skeezy nobodies! Tina Knowles, Beyonce's mom-ager, has contacted me and wants to audition me tonight. I've transcended you now.

Rosa: Oh, wow. That was really, really sweet.
Gina: Oh, dip! I got Rosa to feel her feelings too? Inadvertent Gina Moment. Two for one. Come in, my babies. Come in.

Amy: Hey, can I talk to the captain?
Gina: Ugh, he's on the phone. Do you want a coffee while you wait? They made me an extra one on accident.
Amy: Oh, sure. Thank you. Oh, my God! What is that?
Gina: Cement! You just drank cement! Guys, check back in to see if she dies.
Ugh! [choking] You're not really gonna die probably, okay? Just a little honey for the G-Hive. Also you can talk to Holt. He is not on the phone.
Amy: What is happening?
Gina: It's a little something I call two pranks for the price of one!
[Amy enters Holt's office]
Captain Holt: Santiago, I'm on the phone.
Gina: Triple prank!

Gina: Captain? The kids want to know where Paulie the Pigeon is. I told them he got sucked up into an airplane engine, is that all right?

Sergeant Jeffords: Listen up. Diaz and I are going to Rikers to interview a guy we think has info on the Douglass Street murders.
Also, IT says the internet is down.
Gina: What? No! I had just clicked a link that said Balloon Boy grew up hot. Now I will never see those pictures.
Rosa: Can't you just use the internet on your phone?
Gina: Bitch, you know I'm out of data.

Gina: Count me in as long as I get eight plus-ones.

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm trying to find out who our leak is.
Gina: What makes you so sure that there's a leak? It might've just been that the reporter was really good at his job, like that hot blond surfer was at TMZ.

Gina: Good morning.
Captain Holt: For whom?
Gina: For you-m.

Jake: All right, I guess you'll just have to distract him when we get to the store.
Gina: On it. I'll take him to housewares and I'll ask him the difference between a skillet and a frying pan. That'll buy you six hours.