Captain Holt: Gina, where have you been? You left your cell phone in your desk and I assumed you were dead.
Gina: Uh, I would clearly be buried with my phone.

Sergeant Jeffords: We're sorry we doubted you, sir. You really saved our butts.
Captain Holt: I can't take credit for that. Gina Linetti is the real hero here.
Gina: But isn't Gina Linetti more of a state of mind? Like, in a way, we were all Gina Linetti today. Gina, let's take this Gina to the hospital.

Gina: We're throwing Terry a "Please Stay" party. My vision is a frozen yogurt machine operated by Pam Grier.

Gina: Sir, they're gonna be fine.
Captain Holt: They're my squad. I should be there with them. This is killing me.
Gina: Well, I'm not gonna let it. Let's go.
Captain Holt: But my wound, Gina.
Gina: Sir, with your brain and my body and my brain we make one unstoppable unit. Now climb aboard, sir. And let's go.

Gina: Aw, Captain, don't worry, okay? My sleeping pills are doing their job, and I can stay here and take care of you, okay? Terry, I'm gonna need your gun.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's not happening.
Gina: All right, I'll use my own. Oops-a-daisy.
Rosa: That is adorable. Where did you get that?
Gina: Vending machine at a rest stop.

Gina: Hey, superstar. Why the long fart? Ooh, I meant face. Why the long face?
Sergeant Jeffords: Keep walking, Linetti.

Captain Holt: Even the best laid plans sometimes don't work out.
Gina: They sure don't. And now it's time for Gina's closing thoughts. Just because you wanna do something doesn't mean you get to do it. Life is chaos, success is completely arbitrary, and confidence is everything.

Gina: Okay, but if you do lie, you can't go wrong with dental emergency. Or death of a triplet. Now, that one you can use twice. Smart.

Amy: Well, I was thinking we could have a ladies lunch today.
Gina: Amy, I wish I could do lunch today, but I'm currently out of town.

Jake: So he didn't say what happened, which can only mean one thing.
Gina: He's in a fight club.

Gina: Rosa, repeat after me and don't change a thing. Can I tell you the craziest story? One time I was like so drunk-
Rosa: [parroting Gina] And this meathead comes up to me. And his body is hot, but his face is like okay. So I'm like, what?
Gina: And I was like, bitch, I'm not gonna sleep with you just because you promised to take me to the Bahamas.
Rosa: [parroting Gina] Take me to the Bahamas first and then we'll see what happens, okay?
Gina: I was only with him because he drove a Jaguar.
Rosa: [parroting Gina] Turns out it was a Mercury with a Thundercat taped to the hood.
Gina: And that relationship lasted for three months.
Rosa: [parroting Gina] I don't know why we broke up. I guess we just grew apart when he went to prison for life.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, Gina. How's it feel to be back? Any trouble adjusting?
Gina: Adjusting to what?
Sergeant Jeffords: To life as a working mom. You have to juggle the baby, the job, your new business.
Gina: Terry, juggling isn't hard. That's why the salary for jugglers is so low. Name one rich juggler.
Sergeant Jeffords: Doesn't Dave Coulier juggle?
Gina: If you're reaching for Coulier, then you've already lost the argument, Terr-Bear.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is crazy. I can't imagine the Nine-Nine without you.
Gina: Don't worry. I have a parting gift for all of you. I printed "Time for Gina's Opinion" hoodies for you with your names on them. Oh, there you go.
Jake: Oh, that's fun. So like "Time for Jake's Opinion"?
Gina: What are you, insane? No. It says "Time for Gina's Opinion" in large text on the back and then your names are stitched really tiny on the front.
Jake: Ah.
Gina: I had to guess at some of the spellings.
Amy: Arnie?

Gina: I wanna get certified. There has been a ton of crime in my neighborhood. And the cops in my precinct are very bad.
Captain Holt: You live in our precinct.
Gina: Yeah, I know.

Gina: Do whatever you want, but most women don't really like it when dudes lie to them. Except for me, but I'm wired to thrive on dysfunction.