Samuel Miller: We have airtight alibis for the other three bank robberies you all are accused of.
Amy: Yes, I pulled time sheets, witness statements, and security footage. We can show that both of you weren't present at any of the other robberies, except March 12th. Still not sure where Rosa was.
Rosa: And you never will be.

Samuel Miller: Prosecution claims you stole $26 million, but they can't trace that money to you in any way.
Jake: Yeah, I have negative $73 in my bank account. Ba-boom!
Amy: I'm somehow embarrassed and proud of you at the same time.
Jake: Yeah, that's my sweet spot.

Jake: Okay, reminder: privacy is cool, but if you don't tell us, we're gonna go to jail for a long time.
Rosa: Fine. I was at a "La La Land" sing-along.

Charles: If anything happens to Jake, I'll never forgive myself. My last words to him were, "No, you're the man."
Sergeant Jeffords: That actually sounds pretty nice, Boyle.
Charles: Nice isn't good enough, Sarge.

Rosa: Everybody down! [guns cocking]
Jake: I called that. Everybody down! It's not as good. They're already down.
Rosa: Palms on the floor! I wanna see your hands!
Jake: I also wanna see your hands! You're taking all the good lines.

Adrian Pimento: Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait for me! I'm here, I'm here. Okay, I followed you here all the way on my bike.
Captain Holt: We were going very fast.
Adrian Pimento: I know. I'm still pretty coked up. Let's do this, Nine-Nine!
Captain Holt: You are not a police officer. You're not part of this mission.
Adrian Pimento: Right, okay. Well, I'm just gonna go in this bank and cash a check. Whatever happens happens. Am I right?

Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: Get them out of my sight. Dirty cops make me sick!
Jake: They make me sick! I'm the sick one! She's dirty! I'm clean! I'm a clean boy!

Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: Here.
Jake: Oh, no, I'm good. Not to be snobby, but I got my own stash. It's the bomb. Smuggled this vial in on a plane. Stuck it right up my butt. [laughs] Want some?
Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: No, thanks. I'm good with the non-butt coke.
Jake: Suit yourself.

Rosa: Bartender made me my favorite drink. It's called a bottle of whiskey.
Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: I like your style. You know, when I first met you two, I thought you were pretty uptight.
Jake: More like down loose. That's nothing.

Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: Oh, wow, that's good stuff. Who's your guy?
Jake: Actually, it's a woman. Women can be drug dealers too #lmWithHer.

Jake: Oh, great. Awesome. Obviously, we're on board. Just one thing, if Rosa doesn't eat breakfast, she's a real bear.Plus, I should go home, take a shower, and gots to watch my "Michael and Kelly."

Charles: The father is Milton.
Amy: Who's Milton? We're not a part of your family.
Charles: He's a total loser. I mean, of all the Boyle's to bang, why bang Milton Boyle?
Sergeant Jeffords: He's that bad?
Charles: "He's that bad?" Wow, Terry, you are a rube.

Amy: Come on, Charles, you have to admit, they're perfect for each other.
Charles: Yeah, I guess I'm happy for her. Let's just hope the baby doesn't get his looks. What a dweeb.
Sergeant Jeffords: Nah, bro, he's hot.

Milton: Hey, I had a great idea for a baby name.
Gina: What is it?
Milton: If it's a girl, how about "The Enigma"?
Gina: Oh, my God, I already thought of that, and then if it's a boy, it could just be-
Both: "The Enigmo."

Charles: You guys, I found out why Gina lied about the non-disclosure agreement.
Sergeant Jeffords: Because of how invasive and crazy you are?
Charles: Oh, Terry, you gullible little rube.It's because of which cousin it is. That's right. I found out which Boyle seed did the deed.