Amy: I get that there's always been tension between uniformed officers and detectives, but Rosa is one of the good guys. I'm sure she knows your name.
Della: You clearly just texted her the answer.
Rosa: No, she didn't, Della Avocado.
Della: It's Alvarado.
Amy: Stupid auto-correct.

Amy: I just don't think that men understand how different everything is for us.
I can think of a million examples from this week alone.
[Jake and Amy on the street:]
Jake: [observing a kid playing a video game] Oh, sick!
Amy: [a man creeps on Amy] Oh, sick!
[Jake and Amy getting coffee:]
Lyle: Have a great day.
Jake: Oh, thanks. You too.
Lyle: [to Amy] You have a beautiful mouth. Have a great day.
[Amy in the corridors of the precinct:]
Ron: Excuse me, Miss, do you know where I can find a police officer? [to Jake] Uh, sir, you're a police officer, right?
Jake: Yeah, I'm a detective.
Ron: Oh, thank God.
Amy: I'm in uniform!
[present:]
Jake: Oh, that's why you yelled that. I thought you were just excited about your general love of uniforms.
Amy: Usually when I yell that, it is because of my love of uniforms but not today. Today it was because of that sexist jerk.

Captain Holt: She's scared.
Amy: She's not scared. With all due respect, sir, Gina has no feelings.

Jake: So I marked all the corners where taxi has been spotted on this map. You'll probably notice right away that it makes the shape of a boob.
Amy: This looks great. Confirms Devon's story. He says his dealer hangs out here, in the underboob.

Amy: No, Charles, we're not forfeiting. I wanted Jake to rig the envelopes and partner up with Holt. I gave him the idea by making him watch "Lincoln."
[flashback:]
Amy: Oh, wow, a team of rivals.
Jake: Mm-hmm.
[back:]
Amy: And when that didn't work, we watched "X-Men: Days of Future Past."
[flashback:]
Jake: Magneto and Professor X working together? Amy, are you seeing this?
Amy: Yes, I see it. [whispers] I see it all.

Jake: Why'd you have to say he was boring?
Amy: Because he is boring. His favorite app on his phone is "contacts."

Amy: Okay. First, the good news. I've generated a detailed timeline broken down into 30-second increments to keep us on track. The bad news: we're already 16.5 increments behind schedule.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, man. Terry feels overwhelmed.
Amy: Good! Use it! Neil Armstrong was overwhelmed when he walked on the Moon, but you know what he did? He walked on the Moon!

Amy: We don't know no secret. You be crazy. I always talk like this. Down in Kokomo.

Jake: All right, fine. Forget the study. I just don't want to lose what we already have.
Amy: Ask anyone with children and they'll tell you children bring meaning and love into your life. Yes, there may be some moments that you lose, but there will also be new moments. Take the water park. I would never go with you, but you know who would? Your kid.
Jake: Point to Amy.
Captain Holt: That's not your call to make, Peralta. [bell dings] Point to Amy.

Amy: I'm sorry. I tried to be myself and they hated it.

Jake: All right here we go, approaching the mail. Stay cool, and doink. Now we've just got to find a private place to look at these. Through here to the guest bath. [opens door] Ahh!
Amy: Seriously? The bathroom sneak-off? It didn't work for Dana McAlpin trying to smoke a joint at the Winter Carnival Dance, and it's not gonna work for you. Gimme the mail. You just chaperoned, O-W-N-E-D.
Jake: Spelling is never cool.
Captain Holt: Wrong, that was extremely cool. Now I understand why you're "into her."
Jake: Now you understand? You officiated our wedding. Whatever. We need to figure out a way to get her off our tail.
Amy: Good luck with that.
Jake: Aah!

Amy: All right. Listen up, people. The next 14 hours are gonna be hell, but in the end you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you've finally done something worthwhile with your lives.
Sergeant Jeffords: I kinda think the police work we do-
Amy: Eh-eh-eh! I don't have time to stroke your damn ego, Sergeant. Let's make a wedding!

Moira: Why can't I find a good man?
Amy: Could be because you're in prison for murder.
Moira: Nah. That's not it.
Amy: Yeah, that's not it.

Dr. Ronald Yee: The flies don't sense blood. They're just regular flies.
Amy: But, Dr. Yee, you can't be a fraud. You gave a TED Talk.

Jake: Anyhow, will there be a new champion crowned this year, or will I become the first ever three-time winner, building on my glorious victories in heists one and five?
Amy: You didn't win the fifth heist. I did when you proposed to me.
Captain Holt: I won that year. You ended up with a modified version of the cummerbund, and you only got that because you slept your way into it.
Amy: Sorry, sir, that no one here wants to bone you, you dusty, old skeleton.
Captain Holt: Whoa!