Captain Holt: "From Ray to Z"? I thought I told you no gifts. Take this away, and bring me the broiler's file. I'll look into this mistake.
Amy: Actually, the evidence is part of the scrapbook, so I have to leave the whole thing.
Captain Holt: Fine, I'll look at the relevant pages, but as for the rest, I will not peruse.

Jake: Wow, sweet setup. What do you make here?
Tito Ruiz: Don't worry about it.
Jake: Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Doug Judy: Bye bye, Peralta. Here's your GPS.
Jake: No! Ha-ha, I got you!
Doug Judy: Yeah, you did, but your boy Tito's getting away.
Jake: Damn it! Damn you, Doug Judy!
Doug Judy: I'll never forget you, Dante Thunderstone!

Captain Holt: Santiago, I want to thank you for my gift.
Amy: You like the scrapbook?
Captain Holt: I don't know. I'm a man of my word, so I did not peruse.

Captain Holt: Attention please! Attention. I'm sorry to interrupt your holiday revelry. It truly is a fun night.

Rosa: Hey, so I checked again. Doug Judy still hasn't surfaced.
Jake: Yeah, he has. He just sent me this.
Doug Judy: [in video] What's up, Peralta? Greetings from paradise. Actually, I'm a little disappointed in the hotel. How do you mess up an omelet? It's just a flat egg.
Jake: He pretty much just talks about the omelet for the next ten minutes, but...
Doug Judy: About my escape. This is my associate Kyle. He drove the garbage truck. You may also remember him as the room service waiter I had you tip so generously.
Rosa: Son of a bitch.
Jake: Yup, and when he ordered the lobster, it was code for Kyle to follow him.
Doug Judy: Anyway, tell Diaz she loves me. Merry Christmas!

Jake: All due respect, Sarge, but we don't need Alone Zones.
Charles: No, we do not. But, let me ask you a question, how do you feel about Scone Zones?

Captain Holt: I've been planning how to zing Madeline when she puts the medal on. I have the perfect line. "Wuntch-time is over.
It's a play on lunch time.
Jake: Yes, devastating burn, sir.

Captain Holt: I should be the bigger person. That shouldn't be hard, given that Madeline's not technically a person.

Jake: Turn the other cheek. Which I recently learned is about faces and not butts, but works either way.

Jake: The only time I ever yelled at Charles was cheering him on at his roller boogie competition.

Rosa: Where do you want the food? And does braided herring and jellied starfish count as food?
Charles: Oh, indeed it does. I may be stuck in a tiny room, but my palate will travel the world.

Captain Holt: Everyone, this is my nephew Marcus. He's new in town. He's staying with me until he finds a place. He is 31.
Gina: You are a terrible hype-man.

Gina: Holy Moses. "Bye"?
Rosa: What?
Gina: For you, that's basically walking up to him and jamming your tongue down his throat.
Rosa: Shut up.

Jake: Hey, this is a kind of weird request, but would you maybe mind chewing your Nortfluskers with your mouth closed?
Charles: I can't, and I'm excited to tell you why. I have a new eating method. I realized that open mouths oxygenate the food, so it's kind of like wine tasting.
Jake: And I hear you, buddy. I really do. It's just, it's pretty gross, so maybe just while we're together, you could keep the old chewer shut?