Sergeant Jeffords: What's going on, guys?
Jake: Someone called in a bomb threat.
Rosa: Seriously? Is this because of Boyle's stupid engagement announcement?
Amy: Yes.
Charles: No!

Amy: How did this guy even find out about the wedding? The stupid engagement announcement Charles put in the paper! It had the time and location of the ceremony.
Charles: Amy, be very careful about throwing around accusations like that, because if you're trying to say I somehow ruined Jake's wedding, then I'm gonna kill myself! So tread lightly.

Amy: Did you talk to our parents?
Jake: Yeah. They ended up having dinner together. It sounded like they had fun. Our dads only got in one arm-wrestling match.
Amy: Who won?
Jake: Neither. They both threw out their shoulders.

Jake: Hey, I know you. You're Mlepnos.
Mlepnos: No. We have never met.
Jake: No, I'm pretty sure we have.
Mlepnos: You sell me horse blood?
Jake: No.
Mlepnos: Would you like to buy horse blood?
Jake: No.

Jake: The bomb squad is already here. And they brought a robot. This is exactly how I imagined my wedding would be when I was a kid.

Amy: Are you actually mad that someone might not hate you?
Jake: Yeah, I am, Amy! Oh, wow, that's a bad color on me, isn't it?

Sergeant Jeffords: Rosa! What the hell are you doing?
Rosa: What? You were the one that said-
Sergeant Jeffords: That was before the veil went missing, when life was breezy!

Amy: How are you so calm right now? Someone is trying to blow us up.
Jake: I'm calm because there's not really a bomb. I mean, if you're trying to kill someone, you don't call and give them a heads-up.
Amy: So they're just trying to scare us?
Jake: Yeah, but it doesn't matter. The bomb squad's on their way. They'll do a quick sweep, find nothing and split, and this will just become a funny story we work into our vows. "Amy, there was a bomb at this wedding. Ya butt. Ya butt is da bomb."
Amy: Please don't say that during the ceremony.
Jake: Is it that you don't like wordplay or you don't want me to talk about your butt at all? Because one of those notes is really gonna pull a thread.

Captain Holt: Oh, my.
Gina: What?
Captain Holt: I just got an email from the mayor's office telling me if I'm the next commissioner of the NYPD.
Gina: Well, well, well, finally something to care about today.

Sergeant Jeffords: But you never know when you're gonna find your dream person.
Anyone on the street could be they.
Rosa: All right, it feels like you Googled "how to talk to your bisexual friends."
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah.

Sergeant Jeffords: All right, she should be here any minute. Her name is Alicia.
Switch with me. That's your good side.
Rosa: I have a bad side?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, damn, you didn't know?

Amy: Jake.
Jake: Ames, you look beautiful. But when are you getting your makeup put on? Y'all, she woke up like this.

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, no, I left it in the car! It's not my fault. The driver was so hot. Not for me, for Rosa. She was clearly flirting with her. Oh, I know, I'll just call the company and bring her back here. And then who knows what'll happen?
Rosa: Wait a minute, did you do this intentionally so I'd have to see that girl again?
Sergeant Jeffords: No! That's crazy. This is Jake and Amy's wedding. I would never do that. But you gotta admit, it does seem like the universe is pushing you two together.
Rosa: Terry!

Captain Holt: Ring bearer, please, bring the rings.
Jake: But I thought Cheddar was sick- Oh, my God. You got the robot. There's a robot at my wedding.

Amy: Hey, do you remember Dario Moretti, that money launderer I arrested? He lives right around here too.
Jake: So?
Amy: He hated me. What if this is the work of my arch-nemesis and not yours?
Jake: So you're suggesting I'm not involved in this at all? I mean, you hear yourself, right? That's a bit of a stretch.