Rosa: Jake, can I talk to you about my wedding for a second?
Jake: Need help choosing a dress? Big puffy bow in the back, can't go wrong.
Rosa: No to all of that.

Rosa: No, absolutely not. What would I even say to her?
Captain Holt: Well, perhaps you could ask her to put in a good word for you with the warden, so you can get extra yard time.
Rosa: So, you want me to beg the woman I hate for mercy. Cool. Oh, one problem.
How do I stop myself from smashing through the glass and squeezing the life out of her with my bare hands?

Sergeant Jeffords: Good job, guys.
Charles: Oh, nothing can stop this Tramp train.
Rosa: Boyle, stop finding variations on a word we hate.

Amy: Uh-oh, it's not turning. Jake: I guess I'm not quite as predictable as you thought. And I also bet none of you can predict what I'm gonna do next.
Rosa: Use your key to open the safe and act like a dick about it?
Jake: Yes, obviously that's what I'm gonna do, Rosa. You just have to be so spot-on all the time.

Rosa: You're not gonna bother actually walking?
Hitchcock: Why should we? We can work from down here. I'm sitting down as long as I can.
Scully: I'm not getting out of the chair till it's time to go home.
Rosa: Ugh.
Hitchcock: Oh, typical standing elite. You couldn't sit all day if you tried.
Rosa: What? You don't think I could outlast you turds in a chair?

Charles: "Exclusive Dash Cam Footage Reveals Hero Cop Saved Sergeant Peanut Butter." I don't understand. How'd they get this?
Rosa: Somebody must have leaked it. Perfect partner isn't a horse. The perfect partner is somebody who, no matter how much they hate you, would run through a fire to save your life.

Charles: She's gone, Jakey. She's creeping her way to heaven.
Rosa: Let's be honest, she's creeping her way back to hell.

Rosa: Well, you could always just wait for Gary to find his Jake and then eventually, over time, they'll each become 10% easier to deal with.
Amy: Gary will never find love. He is unlovable.

Rosa: Just looking on a dating app. Weird. Lame. Gross. Dumb. Freak. Loser. Perv.
Toothy. Mouthy.

Gina: Okay, well, take a gander at Jessica, professional stuntwoman just back from a surf trip in Bali.
Rosa: Pass. People who surf never shut up about it.
Gina: Kinda true.

Amy: There was no subtle side look.
Rosa: You're right, 'cause it wasn't subtle. It was an unsubtle side look at that dress in the shop. Why are you being such a nutjob about looking for a wedding dress?
Amy: Because being a female sergeant is difficult. I have to work twice as hard to gain my officers' respect, and looking at girly dresses isn't going to help.
Plus, it's a new job, and I need to make it a priority.
Rosa: Dude, I get that, but if you want a beautiful wedding dress, you deserve to find one.

Amy: God, looking at these old files is really bringing back some memories. Sergio's evil voice, his stupid face-
Rosa: His delicious aroma. Man, I hated how good he smelled.
Amy: I know. That jerk smelled like an English garden.
Rosa: He almost made me quit the force, but my God, I could breathe him in for days.

Ezra: So Louise Mindar is right over there, officers.
Amy: Oh, please don't call us that. We're undercover.
Rosa: Yeah, we're pretending we like old people and don't think they're gross.

Amy: I was trying to make up for letting him get away seven years ago.
Rosa: What? I don't care about that. You had an instinct. You followed it and you were wrong. That happens to everybody. I care that you lied to me.
Amy: It's just we didn't know each other well back then, and, to be honest, when I first got to the Nine-Nine, I was a little intimidated by you.
Rosa: Good. Go on.

Amy: And then it got more and more awkward to bring up, so I never did. I just hoped that we'd catch him eventually and you'd never be tipped off to the fact that I let him go. Oh! Ey!
Rosa: What are you doing with your face and your voice?
Amy: I had an epiphany and I got real excited. I moved my knee and now I hurt a-real bad.
Rosa: Okay, breathe through the pain and tell me what you figured out.