Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins: You got Ocampo?
Jake: Oh, yeah, and you'll never guess where we found him. In the bathroom not going. He was hiding. I ruined the story.

Rosa: Come on, I'll buy you a drink that doesn't have any pills in it.
Jake: Sounds good, but I wish you hadn't mentioned liquid. Now I have to pee. I promise you I will never drink water ever again.
Rosa: Thank God.
Jake: It's the worst.

Jake: Great form, Captain. Your calves are looking toit.

Jake: God, why is this so hard for me? Do I even have quads?

Charles: So what's really going on with Gina? Wait. You don't think-
Sergeant Jeffords: That she hates work and doesn't wanna be here? Yeah, I do think.
Charles: No, that she's pregnant. It all makes sense now. Last week, I brought in unpasteurized boar's milk and she refused to drink any.
Sergeant Jeffords: Not a real convincing argument, Boyle.

Amy: No, I think Charles might be right. Yesterday, I asked her to go for a drink, and she said, "That sounds like a nightmare."
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, Amy.
Amy: Okay. Just give me this, please. I'd feel so much better about my self if it was because she was pregnant.

Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my God, look what Gina was working on.
Charles: "Volcano," "Tibia," "JerHonor," "Concretius," "The Enigma". Oh, she's lost her mind.
Sergeant Jeffords: No, look at what the file is called.
Charles: BabyNames.doc. You guys, Gina's gonna have a baby.

Captain Holt: What was wrong with the step class?
Jake: Too public. Couldn't take the risk.
Rosa: Also, one of us yarfed all over himself after the class.
Jake: Yeah, and it doesn't matter which one of us he was.

Captain Holt: So what kind of dirt did you dig up on Hawkins?
Jake: Nothing concrete, but we think we know their next target: Capital Trust Bank, Fort Greene Branch.
Rosa: As part of our investigation into the Golden Gang, she managed to get alarm schematics and blueprints. It's the perfect cover. She's so smooth.
Jake: Oh, yeah, she's a smooth criminal. MJ, RIP.

Jake: The problem is, we're not in her inner circle. She barely talks to us, and I've been super charming.
[cut to Jake talking to Hawkins:]
Jake: So what you binging these days?
[present:]
Jake: What? Everyone's binging these days. It's how we consume content.

Rosa: Okay, so we beat the crap out of my fiancee.
Captain Holt: And you're okay with this?
Rosa: Yeah. I just want him to be happy.
Jake: Aww. You guys are a weird couple, but it appears we have a plan.

Gina: Right, well, I would love to give you that info, but there's one little problem. I signed a non-disclosure agreement, which bars me from revealing his identity.
Amy: Wait, is he famous?
Gina: [chuckles]
Charles: Is it Batali?
Sergeant Jeffords: Charles, she can't say. Is it Batali?
Gina: Legally, I cannot say. I'm so sorry, guys, but I can give you a hint, and that hint is: He real famous. [all gasp] Ooh, y'all are agog. Textbook agog. Come on, fetus, let's bounce.

Jake: Ooh, schnoops. You said that to her before and then she flipped it on you. You got flipped on, son.

Charles: The daddy's a Property Brother, isn't he? It's a Property Baby.

Jake: So not sure if Paxton told you, but we brought a perp in earlier.
Rosa: Good-looking guy, weird energy.