Amy: But you know what's not sad? That Keri didn't take that insane amount of hush money, and now we get to put a bad guy in jail.
Jake: Amen.
Rosa: Wait, her firm offered her a big deal and you told her not to take it?
Amy: Yeah. Because that would mean letting a sexual assaulter go free.
Rosa: Do you have any physical evidence to prove that he did it?
Amy: No.
Rosa: So it sounds like he might go free anyway. I mean, at least if she takes the deal, she won't walk away with nothing.
Amy: I'm surprised you feel like that. You're such a feminist.
Jake: I feel like maybe I shouldn't be here.
Rosa: I am a feminist, but I'm also a realist. I'm just looking out for the victim.
Jake: Or should I be here because men should be part of the conversation?
Rosa: Let's say best case scenario you do find evidence. She's still gonna have to go through a very public trial where they drag her name through the mud. Even if she wins, she still loses. It's two steps forward, one step back.
Jake: I've landed on active listening. I will no longer be chiming in.
Amy: Yeah, but when one person comes forward, it inspires others to speak up. And that's a hell of a lot better than taking a deal that lets sexual predators walk free.
Rosa: Dude, obviously, I get that. I'm just saying, remember that there's a very real woman here whose career and life are gonna be affected by you pursuing this case. I'm just saying, consider what's best for her.

David Santiago: Amy, I'm sorry for getting so competitive back there. You guys are helping me out, and I should just be grateful.
Amy: Of course you're being nice to me when I'm being a monster. Well, you know what, Mr. Perfect? I'm gonna find that ledger, and I'm gonna save your stupid butt.
David Santiago: That would be so great.
Amy: Please stop.

Charles: Rosa was my leading lady from the start. She's the only good actor here.
Sergeant Jeffords: She is?
Rosa: Yeah, you know nothing about my real life. I'm always acting.

Sergeant Jeffords: We're getting close. We just need to keep testing more things.
Captain Holt: Oh, that's a good idea. Have you tried a piece of paper? Is that your crinkle? Ooh, maybe oh. Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans.
Sergeant Jeffords: All right, sir. I think you've made your point.
Captain Holt: My point? Oh, I'm just trying to have fun by wasting time. Oh, maybe it's this crinkly-crunkly yogurt.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry heard a crinkle.
Captain Holt: Holt heard a crinkle, too.
Sergeant Jeffords: So suddenly, it's not a waste of time?
Captain Holt: Not a waste of time if we win! What are you waiting for, Jeffords? Call the Horndog!

Jake: The point is, I came to comfort you.
Amy: Aw, thanks, but I actually feel really great. I've spent my whole life trying to beat David at something, but when you were in danger, I just didn't care anymore. All I wanted was for you to be okay. I may never have the mantel, but it doesn't matter, 'cause I have you.

Captain Holt: Our killer cut the victims open and ripped out their hearts. Now, before I assign this case-
Jake: Five dollars.
Captain Holt: What?
Jake: I'm bidding for it. I want this so badly.
Captain Holt: That's not how we-
Rosa: $20. Just to make this interesting.
Charles: $100 for Jake to have it.
Captain Holt: I was going to assign the case to you and Peralta but perhaps I should give it to Diaz instead.
Charles: $200.
Captain Holt: It's not about the money, Boyle.

Sergeant Jeffords: It's gonna be hard to spot a crazy person in here. They're all crazy.
Jake: Tell me about it. This is more insane than the crowd at the Carly Rae Jepsen- I mean Slayer concert.

Amy: Guys, you can't keep everything. That defeats the purpose.
Scully: I got this, Ames. Hello, unsolved case. Do you bring me joy? No, because you're boring and you're too hard. See ya.
Amy: Personal items only, Scully. Get that case out of the trash.
Scully: Oh, for Pete's sake.

Gina: Jake, I had a work thing. I can't believe you're being such a baby about this.
Jake: I'm not being a baby.
Gina: Look, I'm sorry I lied, okay? It was a big opportunity for me. I was having drinks with the brand director of a bottled water company. I can't say which one, but it rhymes with, "fart water."

Rosa: You know, some people say, "Mo money, mo problems," but those people are idiots. Money's amazing.

Sergeant Jeffords: Gina. Do you know Captain Holt's password?
Gina: Oh, Terry, just because I know all your passwords doesn't mean I know Captain Holt's.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, we could probably guess it.
Gina: Why don't you try BaldByChoice or PecMan or MacklemoreEnthusiast?
Sergeant Jeffords: Stop saying my passwords. Damn, Gina. Now Terry's got to update his keychain.

Jake: Look, we can handle this, sir. Do we joke around sometimes? Yes, but when it's time to buckle down, we're seasoned professionals.
Charles: That's why they call us the Spice Boys.
Jake: They don't and they won't.

Scully: Hey, thanks for having our back today. These are from the old studs of the Nine-Nine to the new studs.
Jake: Aww.
Charles: Nice. Nice. Well, I think they drank out of these. They're half-empty.
Jake: Definitely. Hitchcock's contact lens is floating in mine.

Amy: Some things are worth clinging to. I was wrong. Or Niles Bunkampf, the inventor of Munkensmat, was wrong.
Rosa: Yeah, that guy's an idiot.
Amy: Was an idiot. He got rid of all his objects, including his clothes, and froze to death in a snowdrift.
Charles: Why didn't you tell us that before we burned all our treasures? Eight framed photos of my dad, up in flames.

Amy: Rosa, watching you try to open that door and fail again and again and again and again was inspiring. I was trying to teach you a lesson, and instead, you taught me a lesson.
Rosa: Great. What lesson is that?
Amy: There is nothing the human spirit cannot overcome. So Rosa Diaz, you are not quitting. You are gonna open that door because you are badass and you don't need help from anyone!
Rosa: Yeah. I'm Rosa Diaz.