Dr. Ronald Yee: It tells the story of the first known use of forensic entomology. A farmer was slashed to death. A local judge asked everyone in the town to lay down their sickles. And though they all appeared clean, one attracted a horde of flies. The insects could sense the blood, even though it was invisible to the human eye.
Captain Holt: Wow, what an arresting story.
Dr. Ronald Yee: Yes, they did arrest him.
Captain Holt: Oh. Oh, my. [laughs] We made a joke together.[laughs]

Captain Holt: Squad, I want to apologize. I have been acting as though nothing mattered except my pursuit of justice, but seeing my people in danger today made me realize I was being short-sighted. I do give a hoot. I give a hoot about all of you.
Rosa: Are we gonna keep saying "hoots"? Is this forever?
Jake: I pray not.

Dr. Ronald Yee: Captain Holt, nice to see you again.
Captain Holt: Please, call me Raymond. Unless that feels weird. You don't have to. I'll answer to anything.

Rosa: Speaking of bad looks, Sarge, what is going on with your eyebrows, man?
Sergeant Jeffords: I shaved them off. 'Cause of the bugs. Sharon said you couldn't notice.
Rosa: Sharon lied, Terry. You look like a straight-up fool.
Sergeant Jeffords: Damn, Rosa.

David Santiago: We need a plan to get past them. So here's what I'm thinking.
I speak a little Portuguese from that time I opened a school in the favelas of Rio.
Amy: Ugh, barf.
David Santiago: What?
Amy: I said barf. I can't deal with your bragging anymore.
David Santiago: How is that bragging? I said I speak a little Portuguese when I'm actually fluent. [speaks Portuguese]
Amy: Ugh, shut up!

Jake: It was not a sexy nickname! It was a scarlet letter, and it ruined my senior year ... but luckily, I'm over all that now.
Charles: Not me. I'm gonna go to this reunion tonight and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole.
Jake: Horrifying, but that won't be necessary, Charles, for my awesome life will do the butthole-kicking this eve.

Amy: And you didn't feel pressure from Mom and Dad?
David Santiago: No, they're so supportive. I'd actually love some constructive criticism. It's the only way to grow. Anyway, thank you so much for bailing me out. If you can just drop me off at home, I will clear my name, and things can go back to the way they were.
Amy: The way they were. Great. It's my favorite way of things being.

Jake: He asked me to ditch class one day with him and his buddies, steal a school van, and go get drunk at his parents' cabin, but the day before we were supposed to go, someone ratted Brandon out, and he got suspended. He thought I was the one who told, and from that day forward, everyone called me "The Tattler."
Amy: Tattler. It's a sexy nickname.

Rosa: [laughs] He is terrible.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, it's almost like casting a robotic old nerd was a huge mistake.

Charles: Was it a mistake, Sarge? Or was it a stroke of brilliance?
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you talking about?
Charles: Look, you're a good actor. You could even be a great one. But you're too gentle. Life hasn't kicked you around enough.
Sergeant Jeffords: I mean, I grew up poor, and my father was emotionally abusive.
Charles: It's not enough. You needed to be rejected by me, a man you admire so much.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?

David Santiago: I'm glad you guys are here. So this place is run by the Brazilian mob. My CI tells me there's a ledger with all the cops on payroll hidden in here somewhere.
Amy: I'm guessing it's in that room surrounded by armed guards.
Jake: Those are guards? I thought they were models.

Captain Holt: Wait, I will only do this under one condition. Sergeant Jeffords agrees that this will help his nerves.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, I mean, I would like to take my mind off the test. And maybe I'll win this year.
Captain Holt: Ah, the heist is already working. Sergeant Jeffords has recovered his sense of humor.

Captain Holt: Believe me, they're perfect. They're about 5 1/2 pounds each, and they look so good smushed together. Or dangling.

Amy: What, afraid to use your forearms?
David Santiago: Pretty good. You're not using enough elbow!
Jake: Guys, those aren't the parts people feature when they dance.

Jake: Wow, really thought the "how dare you" was going to be linked to his mean sex comment, but okay.
Amy: Right, sorry. I'll have you know Jake and I wear each other out every single night.
Jake: Good lord, overcompensating. You know what? Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work.