Captain Holt: So what's your plan? Not with chess, with your life moving forward.
Gina: I mean, I could do basically anything. I could come up with a new form of cryptocurrency called GinaCoin, make millions. Could write a YA novel about literally anything, I think, and make millions. I could discover a new type of melon, make millions.

Madeline Wuntch: The only way to get you to trust me is if you thought I was betraying Holt.
Jake: Yeah!
Madeline Wuntch: And now I have access to all your personal correspondence-
Jake: All right!
Madeline Wuntch: Including all stingray authorizations. It's over, Kelly. You're done.
John Kelly: Okay. You may have won this round, Madeline, but you're gonna live to regret it. You are both so gonna live to regret it.
Jake: I agree with what was just said.
Madeline Wuntch: Hey, Jake? I'm just gonna hold this down.
Jake: Yeah, sounds good.

Captain Holt: Quote: "The bird that leaves the nest too soon plummets to its death on the concrete below." Captain Raymond Holt, immediately afterwards.

Rosa: Gina, since you're leaving, I'd like to make a toast. Bye.
Gina: Oh, my God. That was perfect.

Jake: They have my hair? I thought you put your two worst guys on this.
The Vulture: These are my worst guys, all right? They're real dorks. They both wear glasses. And one of them's even a woman.
Jake: Ugh. You said you didn't trust them to get coffee.
The Vulture: Look, if you can't tell what "coffee" is code for by now, then you and I shouldn't be talking about this, Jake.
Amy: Oh, my God. He put his best detectives on the case.
The Vulture: Hey, my two best detectives are Sticky and Boner, and they definitely know how to order "coffee." Extra cream. Wink, wink.

Jake: Rosa! We gotta go up to Holt's.
Rosa: Is this not done yet? Ugh. Jocelyn leaves in eight minutes, and I don't want things to end like this.
Jake: Wow. Way to be vulnerable. I thought for sure you'd write her off the second she said she wanted to break up.
Rosa: Yeah, I did. She's dead to me.
Jake: Wait? Then why are you so anxious to get back up and talk to her?
Rosa: Because I have a plan. I'm gonna beg her to stay, change whatever it is I need to change, then once our relationship is stronger than ever, I'm gonna dump her ass so quick. It's gonna be brutal.

Captain Holt: Honestly, given the hole that you've put him in, he needs more expert help than I can provide. But, there is a boarding school in Switzerland that would be a perfect fit for him. He can enroll immediately.
Charles: In Switzerland? I'd never see him.
Captain Holt: Then uproot your life and move there with him. No one here would miss you.

Rosa: Isn't it that guy that led that seminar where you guys turned Boyle into a mummy, and then you pushed him down the stairs?
Amy: Whoa!
Captain Holt: Whoa!
Amy: Rosa. Easy. No one pushed Boyle down the stairs.
Captain Holt: Right. We may have plastered his eyes shut and left him to wander around blindly, but he fell down on his own. It was a classic accident.
Amy: Exactly.

Amy: Anyway, Dr. Yee is a genius in the field of forensic entomology. They call him "Father Fly." How cool is that?
Rosa: 0%.

Sergeant Jeffords: I hope they take that container of bugs with them when they go.
Rosa: Wait. The container's here? I have an idea. All I need is some blood.
Hitchcock: This is fresh.
Rosa: Oh. Terrible, yet perfect.

Jake: Okay, well, let's not give up all hope just yet. We do know some things. For example, the perp entered using a key, which means they probably work here.
And they knew enough to skip past all these expensive-looking artifacts. They walked straight up to this shelf and grabbed the coin case from up there.
Captain Holt: It's too high. You can't reach it.
Jake: Exactly. So now we know that the thief was taller than me. That's a good lead. Also, we know they were a little bit of a freak, since I am above average height according to the 1940 census.
Captain Holt: I didn't realize you had a thing about your height.
Jake: I don't! Because I'm above average. Why would I have a thing about my height when I'm above average? It doesn't make any sense. [snorting laugh] Anyways, we're looking for an insanely tall perp, a real Shaq type.

Captain Holt: Dr. Yee has recently bred a species of fly that has increased sensitivities to certain human proteins.
Amy: They can detect trace amounts of blood, even if it's been cleaned with bleach.
Captain Holt: Or masked with animal urine.
Amy: Oh, I was building to that. Thanks for stealing my thunder.

Dean Wesley Allister: So is policeman Raymond joining the case?
Jake: Actually, he's leading it. Captain Holt is the finest investigator I've ever worked with. Sir, tell him our plan of action.
Captain Holt: ... ... ... Clues.
Jake: Okay, you're freezing up. I'm just gonna take the wheel for now. There were no signs of forced entry, the only people with access to the archives were the professors in the department, and they all have alibis, which means-
Captain Holt: I don't know what you want me to say.
Jake: Okay, that's my fault for throwing it to you again. Which means we need to examine the crime scene. It is there that we will find what Captain Holt has so eloquently described as-
Dean Wesley Allister: Clues?
Jake: Sir, you just said it.

Jake: Okay, how about this? Gintars just wants to see him, right? We can maybe have them meet without telling Nikolaj that Gintars is his birth father. Just say he's an old friend of ours.
Charles: Jake, you're completely forgetting about the olfactory bond. Nikolaj will immediately recognize his father's scent.

Rosa: Look, I really think we should go with the feds on this.
Captain Holt: No, we're bringing in Yee. I'll make the call right now.
Amy: Oh, can I listen on speaker?
Rosa: Oh, my God. It's gonna be a long couple of days.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're telling me. I got bugs in my brows, Rosa.