Rosa: So I'm positive the murder happened inside this apartment, but CSI could find no traces of blood. I'd like to ask the FBI to bring in a team of lab techs.
Captain Holt: This would require Commissioner Kelly signing off. Before I make that ask, is there anything else we can do?
Amy: Um, I'm pretty sure there is. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Captain Holt: I am now.
Both: We need Yee!

Captain Holt: Maybe the thief stood on something, like one of these drawers. Turn off the light. Maybe something will show up under UV. [Jake turns off the light, Holt shines a UV light] Bingpot!
Jake: A footprint. You did it, you brilliant bimbo.

Rosa: Isn't it that guy that led that seminar where you guys turned Boyle into a mummy, and then you pushed him down the stairs?
Amy: Whoa!
Captain Holt: Whoa!
Amy: Rosa. Easy. No one pushed Boyle down the stairs.
Captain Holt: Right. We may have plastered his eyes shut and left him to wander around blindly, but he fell down on his own. It was a classic accident.
Amy: Exactly.

Rosa: Why is it taking Holt and this I.T. guy so long to fix the Internet? One Police Plaza sent him an hour ago.
Jake: Huh. Why does Holt look so worried?
Rosa: What are you talking about? He looks exactly like he always does.
Jake: To you, perhaps, but I finally learned how to read his emotions. His lips are slightly pursed, and he's blinking at eight-second intervals as opposed to his normal 10. [gasps] Oh, my God. He's having a meltdown.
Rosa: "Meltdown" seems excessive.
Jake: Yeah, it's a meltdown. Mark my words.

Captain Holt: Honestly, given the hole that you've put him in, he needs more expert help than I can provide. But, there is a boarding school in Switzerland that would be a perfect fit for him. He can enroll immediately.
Charles: In Switzerland? I'd never see him.
Captain Holt: Then uproot your life and move there with him. No one here would miss you.

Amy: Anyway, Dr. Yee is a genius in the field of forensic entomology. They call him "Father Fly." How cool is that?
Rosa: 0%.

Sergeant Jeffords: I hope they take that container of bugs with them when they go.
Rosa: Wait. The container's here? I have an idea. All I need is some blood.
Hitchcock: This is fresh.
Rosa: Oh. Terrible, yet perfect.

Jake: Okay, well, let's not give up all hope just yet. We do know some things. For example, the perp entered using a key, which means they probably work here.
And they knew enough to skip past all these expensive-looking artifacts. They walked straight up to this shelf and grabbed the coin case from up there.
Captain Holt: It's too high. You can't reach it.
Jake: Exactly. So now we know that the thief was taller than me. That's a good lead. Also, we know they were a little bit of a freak, since I am above average height according to the 1940 census.
Captain Holt: I didn't realize you had a thing about your height.
Jake: I don't! Because I'm above average. Why would I have a thing about my height when I'm above average? It doesn't make any sense. [snorting laugh] Anyways, we're looking for an insanely tall perp, a real Shaq type.

Captain Holt: Dr. Yee has recently bred a species of fly that has increased sensitivities to certain human proteins.
Amy: They can detect trace amounts of blood, even if it's been cleaned with bleach.
Captain Holt: Or masked with animal urine.
Amy: Oh, I was building to that. Thanks for stealing my thunder.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is nasty. Terry hates bugs. Too many eyes and legs.
Captain Holt: Would you still hate bugs if I told you that there were thousands of tiny mites that live in your eyebrows and keep them from being weighed down by oils?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes!

Rosa: You want to break up? But I just met your college friends. Are you telling me I had to talk to Matt for nothing?
Jake: Rosa.
Jocelyn: I thought you liked Matt.
Rosa: Matt is a nightmare. He kept saying "hashtag tell me about it."

Dean Wesley Allister: So is policeman Raymond joining the case?
Jake: Actually, he's leading it. Captain Holt is the finest investigator I've ever worked with. Sir, tell him our plan of action.
Captain Holt: ... ... ... Clues.
Jake: Okay, you're freezing up. I'm just gonna take the wheel for now. There were no signs of forced entry, the only people with access to the archives were the professors in the department, and they all have alibis, which means-
Captain Holt: I don't know what you want me to say.
Jake: Okay, that's my fault for throwing it to you again. Which means we need to examine the crime scene. It is there that we will find what Captain Holt has so eloquently described as-
Dean Wesley Allister: Clues?
Jake: Sir, you just said it.

Rosa: Look, I really think we should go with the feds on this.
Captain Holt: No, we're bringing in Yee. I'll make the call right now.
Amy: Oh, can I listen on speaker?
Rosa: Oh, my God. It's gonna be a long couple of days.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're telling me. I got bugs in my brows, Rosa.

Jake: Okay, how about this? Gintars just wants to see him, right? We can maybe have them meet without telling Nikolaj that Gintars is his birth father. Just say he's an old friend of ours.
Charles: Jake, you're completely forgetting about the olfactory bond. Nikolaj will immediately recognize his father's scent.

Jake: I want you to stay calm and just try to keep all of your blood inside your body.
Gina: Bitch, what do you think I'm doing?
Jake: Yeah, I don't know why I said that.