Gina: And I'm not the only one who thinks that.
Charles: You melted my fringe.
Rosa: You think I have an anger problem? I don't. You are both dead to me.

The Vulture: Lookee, lookee. I thought I saw your big, white ass lumbering around. As for you, Santiago, well, now you certainly showed your true colors, didn't you? And they're a shade of pink called "loser."

Super Dan: Why aren't you guys taking me seriously?
Amy: Your cape. And your tights. And your name's Super Dan. And I can sort of see your penis. And it's all just a rich tapestry.

Jake: All right, let's go over our disguises. I am Herbet Goffleman from San Diego. I came here to stand in the cold outside The Today Show holding a sign with a misspelled word on it.

Jake: Look, I'm sorry I threw your ring in that boiling pork water.
Charles: Yeah. Sorry I pepper sprayed you.
Jake: I'm sorry I pepper sprayed you. Burned like hell, right? Thank God for that soda.

My biggest flaw is I care too much what you think of me. I should be more confident in my own judgment. And I'm so sure of that that I don't even care if you think I'm right. Evaluation over. Enjoy your soup.

Charles: Okay, be kind. I don't have a model's body like you.

Gina: What's this weekend?
Amy: We rented a cabin in the Berkshires. We're taking a couple's cooking class and there's this great antiques fair.
Gina: Sounds like you two have a wonderful lesbian vacation planned.

Charles: Look, I'm sorry. You let me into your special place.
Gina: Ew.

Charles: Vivian is my fiance. My ex-fiance. My never-wife.

Charles: I'm settling into the darkness nicely. (To Rosa) I definitely get you now.

Jake: We need to blend in. Stretch your leg above your head.
Amy: What? You stretch your leg up over your head.
Jake: You don't think I wouldn't if I could?

Jake: I am nationally recognized foxtrotter Dave Blathis and these are my protegés; Rhonda Shawarma and Hank Franklin.

Amy: People think if they put on a costume they can just get away with anything they want. Halloween is Christmas for jerks.

Jake: So good! You can barely even tell it's a chicken embryo.