Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Popular Quotes

Quote from Jake in the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Please be seated. Friends, colleagues, gawking New Yorkers, we are here today to celebrate the marriage of Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago. I've known you both for the last five years. And it has been a true pleasure to watch your distracting childish rivalry evolve into a distracting childish courtship and now into what I'm sure will be a distracting childish marriage. I'm proud of you. And I love you both.
Jake: Permission to say it back?
Captain Holt: Permission granted.
Amy: I love you too, sir.
Jake: Love you, Captain.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Latest Quotes

Quote from Jake in the episode The Last Day (Part 2)

Amy: You're cutting me out? This is about you wanting fireworks, isn't it?
Jake: Oh, Amy, it's about so much more than that.
[later:]
Jake: It's one million percent just about the fireworks.
Charles: Those look very dangerous.
Jake: No, it'll be fine. We're not gonna be anywhere near when it goes off. You control the whole thing from your phone.
Charles: How do you know when it's armed?
Jake: The red light starts blinking.
Charles: Like that one?
Jake: Uh-oh, uh, uh... you know what? This is okay, this is okay. I can just turn it off using the app. "Set up your profile first?" Why? How many times am I gonna use a fireworks app?
Charles: It started counting down!
Jake: Name, email. "Select the squares with stop signs in them?"
Charles: Okay, Jake, we gotta go!
Jake: Is a stop light a stop sign? Charles, is a stop light a stop sign?
Charles: I don't know, they both require full stops! Jake, come on!
Jake: All right, I'm in. No, "username already taken?" Who would want to use "Jake?" [countdown beeping] Oh, no.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Last Day (Part 2)

[about a year later:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Now that that's been sorted, are there any questions?
Jake: Yes! I have a question! Captain Jeffords, are you ready for the Halloween Heist?
Sergeant Jeffords: What are you doing, Peralta? Last year was the final heist. We all agreed it was over.
Jake: Ah, Terry, you jolly simpleton. That was obviously a ruse. I mean, did you really think I was gonna let Hitchcock win the last heist? I mean, that would be crazy! Hitchcock? It would've been unforgiveable.
Hitchcock: That's true, it felt wrong.
Captain Holt: I know someone who's in. The old janitor, which is actually me! Deputy Commissioner Raymond Holt.
Amy: And he's not the only one. I'm in too.
Rosa: Me too.
Gina: As am I. Gina Linetti.
Jake: That's right, Terry, this is happening every year. We're in each other's lives forever, whether you like it or not. So, what do you say, Captain? Are we doing this?
Sergeant Jeffords: What I say is... Nine-Nine!
All: Nine-Nine!

Quote from Gina in the episode The Last Day (Part 2)

Captain Holt: But if I don't have the winning tube, who does?
Rosa: [shutters open] I do.
Gina: Yet another surprise reveal again.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Last Day (Part 2)

Amy: That worked so well. On to phase two. Thanks for doing that, Teddy. I'm really glad that we could be friends again.
Teddy: Of course. I'll always be here for you. Which is why I have a question to ask.
Amy: Oh, no.
Teddy: Amy Santiago, will you marry...
Amy: No! I am married to Jake.
Teddy: And I'm married to Elizabeth. It's perfect. Plus, you just betrayed him. You guys are obviously having issues.
Amy: No, I only betrayed him to pull off my secret plan. I am throwing him the perfect goodbye and it has to be a surprise.
Teddy: Fine. But if you think I'm just gonna sit around and wait for you change your mind... you're right. I will be parked outside for two more hours.

Quote Collections

  • Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes

    A collection of quotes about Jake Peralta's favorite movie franchise, Die Hard.

  • Jake and Amy Quotes Jake and Amy Quotes

    Quotes from Jake and Amy's relationship including their first date, the first time they said "I love you", their engagement, wedding, and the birth of their child.

  • Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch

    The best zingers from Captain Holt's feud with Madeline Wuntch.

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases

    A collection of quotes featuring Brooklyn Nine-Nine catchphrases like "Noice", "Smort", "Toit", "Nine Nine!", "Terry loves...", "Cool, cool, cool", "No doubt, no doubt", "Bingpot!", and "Why?!"

  • Title of Your Sex Tape Title of Your Sex Tape

    "Title of Your Sex Tape" is a recurring joke from Jake, often used to poke fun at Amy's sex-life. Charles and Amy have also joined in on the act.

    "Oh, that's just something we say back at the Nine-Nine." - Charles Boyle

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