Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Jake: We have a few more questions for you, doctor.
Captain Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".
Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".
Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.
Captain Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.
Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.
Captain Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.
Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Captain Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Captain Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Captain Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain-
Captain Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-
[cut to outside, Holt downing a glass of water]
Captain Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Jake: Yeah, apparently.

Sergeant Jeffords: And, Gina, you can't run that space heater 24/7 anymore.
Gina: Space heater? Excuse me, this is a Fornax Radiant Comfort System, and her name is Jacinta.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, Jacinta's gotta go.
Gina: He didn't mean that, darling.
Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously, turn off the space heater.
Gina: No.
Sergeant Jeffords: Do it, now. That's an order.
Gina: Yeah, well, you don't wanna start a battle of the wills with Gina Linetti because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. Not to brag, but I was name-checked in my kindergarten teacher's suicide note.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh my God.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Amy: You're cutting me out? This is about you wanting fireworks, isn't it?
Jake: Oh, Amy, it's about so much more than that.
[later:]
Jake: It's one million percent just about the fireworks.
Charles: Those look very dangerous.
Jake: No, it'll be fine. We're not gonna be anywhere near when it goes off. You control the whole thing from your phone.
Charles: How do you know when it's armed?
Jake: The red light starts blinking.
Charles: Like that one?
Jake: Uh-oh, uh, uh... you know what? This is okay, this is okay. I can just turn it off using the app. "Set up your profile first?" Why? How many times am I gonna use a fireworks app?
Charles: It started counting down!
Jake: Name, email. "Select the squares with stop signs in them?"
Charles: Okay, Jake, we gotta go!
Jake: Is a stop light a stop sign? Charles, is a stop light a stop sign?
Charles: I don't know, they both require full stops! Jake, come on!
Jake: All right, I'm in. No, "username already taken?" Who would want to use "Jake?" [countdown beeping] Oh, no.

Captain Holt: But if I don't have the winning tube, who does?
Rosa: [shutters open] I do.
Gina: Yet another surprise reveal again.

Rosa: Hey, can I talk to you? I have a question.
Amy: Is it will I ever forgive you for betraying me and abandoning me in a car?
Rosa: No, I have no questions about that interaction. It was funny and I'm pleased with how it played out. This isn't about the heist. What did you think about, um, me and Pimento as a couple?
Amy: Oh, uh, I don't know. You guys always made me a little uncomfortable. There weren't a lot of boundaries.
Rosa: Is this about that time we smashed in your car?
Amy: You did? Which car?
Rosa: All of them. And once in your dad's Miata.

Amy: That worked so well. On to phase two. Thanks for doing that, Teddy. I'm really glad that we could be friends again.
Teddy: Of course. I'll always be here for you. Which is why I have a question to ask.
Amy: Oh, no.
Teddy: Amy Santiago, will you marry...
Amy: No! I am married to Jake.
Teddy: And I'm married to Elizabeth. It's perfect. Plus, you just betrayed him. You guys are obviously having issues.
Amy: No, I only betrayed him to pull off my secret plan. I am throwing him the perfect goodbye and it has to be a surprise.
Teddy: Fine. But if you think I'm just gonna sit around and wait for you change your mind... you're right. I will be parked outside for two more hours.