Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Popular Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch is circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Jake in the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from Rosa in the episode Old School

Rosa: And when this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Latest Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Admiral Peralta

Captain Holt: And I believe that's all I've got. Oh, wait, there's one more thing. Peralta gave me a note before the meeting. Ugh, the penmanship is horrid, but I think it says, "Ask if anyone has an anal mint."
Jake: It's announcements, and we do.
Charles: Wow, what an entrance.

Quote from Charles in the episode Admiral Peralta

Jake: Amy and I have some big news to share.
Amy: I'm pregnant.
Jake: We're pregnant!
[unenthusiastic murmurs]
Jake: What the hell? I thought you guys would be more excited than that. Charles, you didn't even faint.
Charles: I'm so sorry, I'll try. [inhales] It's not working. Somebody choke me.
Rosa: On it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Rosa.

Quote from Amy in the episode Admiral Peralta

Sergeant Jeffords: Sorry, we're so happy for you, but we also maybe, kind of already knew. I mean, you didn't do the best job of hiding it.
[flashback:]
Sergeant Jeffords: Why have you been carrying that box around so much?
Amy: I just love this box.
[flashback:]
Captain Holt: Why are you reading that newspaper? It's two days old.
Amy: I just love this issue.
[flashback:]
Rosa: Hey, why are you wearing that Hazmat suit?
Amy: I just love this look.

Quote from Jake in the episode Admiral Peralta

Jake: Okay, fine, so you all knew we were pregnant. Good for you. But I bet you didn't figure out that we're having twins.
Charles: [gasps, faints]
Jake: No, not really. It's one baby. I just needed to see Charles faint.

Quote Collections

  • Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch

    The best zingers from Captain Holt's feud with Madeline Wuntch.

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases

    A collection of quotes featuring Brooklyn Nine-Nine catchphrases like "Noice", "Smort", "Toit", "Nine Nine!", "Terry loves...", "Cool, cool, cool", "No doubt, no doubt", and "Why?!"

  • Title of Your Sex Tape Title of Your Sex Tape

    "Title of Your Sex Tape" is a recurring joke from Jake, often used to poke fun at Amy's sex-life. Charles and Amy have also joined in on the act.

    "Oh, that's just something we say back at the Nine-Nine." - Charles Boyle

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