Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Popular Quotes

Quote from Jake in the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Please be seated. Friends, colleagues, gawking New Yorkers, we are here today to celebrate the marriage of Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago. I've known you both for the last five years. And it has been a true pleasure to watch your distracting childish rivalry evolve into a distracting childish courtship and now into what I'm sure will be a distracting childish marriage. I'm proud of you. And I love you both.
Jake: Permission to say it back?
Captain Holt: Permission granted.
Amy: I love you too, sir.
Jake: Love you, Captain.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Latest Quotes

Quote from Jake in the episode Lights Out

Jake: Uh, what was that?
Charles: Wow, all of Brooklyn lost power.
Jake: You know, I've always kind of liked blackouts. Listen to how quiet it is. It's so peaceful. [gunshots, wheels screeching] Nope, it immediately turned into a purge. Way to go, New York. All right, let's suit up!

Quote from Charles in the episode Lights Out

Amy: All right, as the highest ranking officer not trapped in a box, I'll take charge.
Charles: Uh, shouldn't you be taking it easy? Your shift's over. You're on maternity leave. As the baby's Chee-Chee...
Amy: Charles, I'm fine, and this is an emergency. Subways aren't running, and we're gonna have a lot of people on the street. So I'm gonna call Mounted Division to help with crowd control.
Charles: But that's Sergeant Peanut Butter's unit. No one wants to work with that condescending dick.
Amy: Okay, first of all, he's a horse, so he can't be condescending.
Charles: Ugh, oh-ho, he's got you people fooled.
Amy: Secondly... He's a lieutenant now.
Charles: What?! How?!

Quote from Amy in the episode Lights Out

Amy: I'm just at the start of my labor. I haven't even had my first contrac... [moaning] ...tion.
Rosa: Was that a contraction?
Amy: No. That was just a crazy yawn.

Quote from Jake in the episode Lights Out

Charles: We should walk. It's only 27 blocks, it's gotta be faster than this.
[cut to Dotty tottering with a walker along the sidewalk:]
Charles: I mean, it's a little bit faster.
Jake: Is it? Hey, Dotty, just weighing our options here. Have you ever been worn like a backpack?

Quote Collections

  • Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes Yippee-ki-yay, Die Hard Quotes

    A collection of quotes about Jake Peralta's favorite movie franchise, Die Hard.

  • Jake and Amy Quotes Jake and Amy Quotes

    Quotes from Jake and Amy's relationship including their first date, the first time they said "I love you", their engagement, wedding, and the birth of their child.

  • Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch

    The best zingers from Captain Holt's feud with Madeline Wuntch.

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases

    A collection of quotes featuring Brooklyn Nine-Nine catchphrases like "Noice", "Smort", "Toit", "Nine Nine!", "Terry loves...", "Cool, cool, cool", "No doubt, no doubt", "Bingpot!", and "Why?!"

  • Title of Your Sex Tape Title of Your Sex Tape

    "Title of Your Sex Tape" is a recurring joke from Jake, often used to poke fun at Amy's sex-life. Charles and Amy have also joined in on the act.

    "Oh, that's just something we say back at the Nine-Nine." - Charles Boyle

Submit Quotes