Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Popular Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Jake in the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from Rosa in the episode Old School

Rosa: And when this is over, I'm going to find you, and I'm going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms. Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Latest Quotes

Quote from Rosa in the episode Lights Out

Sergeant Jeffords: And those of you patrolling 7th Avenue, please be aware of the new pedal pubs. They're bike-powered mobile bars that are very popular with bachelorette parties. But unfortunately they have led to a dramatic increase in the rarely seen case of female public urination.
Rosa: Resist.

Quote from Scully in the episode Lights Out

Captain Holt: That's everything, but before we go home, but quick reminder that today is Sergeant Santiago's last day before maternity leave. [applause] We'll see you in three months.
Scully: She gets three months off? Can I take a maternity leave?
Jake: Are you giving birth to a baby?
Scully: I'm having a seven pound mass removed from my abdomen next week. [all groan]
Jake: Yeah, never ask Scully questions. That's on me, guys!

Quote from Charles in the episode Lights Out

Charles: So, have you guys decided on a name yet?
Amy: We're not telling people until he's born.
Charles: Not the baby's name... my name. What's he gonna call me? Uncle Chuck? Unky C? Ooh... Chee-Chee, so he says it early?
Amy: Maybe just Charles.
Charles: Wait, so my dad gets to be his "Pop-Pop," but I'm just "Charles?"
Jake: Your dad does not get to be his "Pop-Pop."
Charles: Well I hope you're prepared to make that phone call.

Quote from Jake in the episode Lights Out

Jake: Uh, what was that?
Charles: Wow, all of Brooklyn lost power.
Jake: You know, I've always kind of liked blackouts. Listen to how quiet it is. It's so peaceful. [gunshots, wheels screeching] Nope, it immediately turned into a purge. Way to go, New York. All right, let's suit up!

Quote Collections

  • Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch Wuntch Time: Captain Holt vs. Madeline Wuntch

    The best zingers from Captain Holt's feud with Madeline Wuntch.

  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases Brooklyn Nine-Nine Catchphrases

    A collection of quotes featuring Brooklyn Nine-Nine catchphrases like "Noice", "Smort", "Toit", "Nine Nine!", "Terry loves...", "Cool, cool, cool", "No doubt, no doubt", "Bingpot!", and "Why?!"

  • Title of Your Sex Tape Title of Your Sex Tape

    "Title of Your Sex Tape" is a recurring joke from Jake, often used to poke fun at Amy's sex-life. Charles and Amy have also joined in on the act.

    "Oh, that's just something we say back at the Nine-Nine." - Charles Boyle

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