Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Popular Quotes

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch is circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Madeline Wuntch: Trent, Brice, where are we with the name?
Trent: We've narrowed it down to two choices. Petey or Paulie.
Gina: With all due respect, that Pigeon is clearly a Ray-Jay. Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 Emoji.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

Latest Quotes

Sergeant Jeffords: Peralta, looks like an old friend of yours is back in town.
Charles: Who? That guy Neil that you bunked with at sleepaway camp?
Jake: Oh, Neil from camp was the best. He could pick up a milk carton with his butt cheeks. He was so funny.
Charles: You know who else was funny? Bill Cosby.

Jake: Charles, will you relax? You're gonna love Neil.
Sergeant Jeffords: It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil? It's Doug Judy.
Jake: Oh, right. Someone we all know in a police capacity.

Sergeant Jeffords: Someone's using his signature move to steal cars, plugging in to the OBD port and reprogramming the immobilizer module.
Jake: That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him. He told me he went legit.
Sergeant Jeffords: That's what he told you last time too, before he screwed you over.
Jake: Yeah, but he returned the diamonds to me eventually, and it turned out that was the only way to get Giggle Pig off the streets. Wait, I may be confusing our adventures. What year was the cruise?

Sergeant Jeffords: Dude's a criminal. People don't change.
Jake: Ever heard of Bruce Banner, the Incredible Hulk? You might want to talk to his shirts and pants about people not changing.

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